Monday, October 19, 2009

So, which is better?

[image source:]

When you have the luxury of time… you really get to stop and smell the flowers.

There are times, like right now… I get to think and ask, why me?

I know there are reasons and a bigger purpose why I turned out to be positive. But looking at the other side of the fence (the side I came from before I got where I am right now), I can’t help but feel emotional while reminiscing everything I had to give up (some are trivial and some are essential).

If I weren’t diagnosed to be reactive, I wouldn’t be dealing with people’s prejudices. I wouldn’t have to explain anything to the guy I am dating. I can eat raw food, stay up late and I do not have to wake in the middle of the night to take ARV.

On the other hand, I would not have gained the loving hearts of the people I met and the friendships I made. I would not have started living responsibly and healthy. I might have missed the opportunity building a good relationship with my family. And I would not have the opportunity to touch and make a difference on other people’s lives.

So, which is better? Being a Poz or not being one?

I cannot definitively tell.

But this I can say… Despite my circumstances, I am still one of those considered to be lucky.


Angelo said...

Poz or not poz, you seem to have your head in the right place. =)

That's all that counts, most of the time. =)

You're a good man, Charlie Brown... errr I mean, TGM. Hehehe!

red the mod said...

Neither is better. Every case is unique, and it is our duty and responsibility to make the most of what fate deals us. Of course, it's always the case of 'grass being greener,' but despite our own misgivings, there is still a choice to be happy with what we have.

Happiness is a choice. Contentment is a struggle. But I know, your heart is where it should be.

And my antics, and stories, my ears and my plethorics are here if you need it. Magsabi ka lang dude.

Basta may kape hehe.

Anonymous said...

i always believed that everything happens for a reason. and that reason is for you to know. and from the looks of it, you're almost there. :)

how i wish i could be as composed as you are. :)

The Green Man said...

@ Gelo: I am not sure if I have it in the right place.. but I am enjoying what I have now, what I am doing and trying to find how to get the things i want :-D

@ Red: Kape ba kamo? Sige dala ako instant coffee. You have a point there, neither is better. What we have is what is good for us and we can just make it work and make it better.

@ Max: Like most of us, I am struggling to keep my self together. I have ups and downs, insecurities and pride. I am just trying to do of what I have and doing what I can to make it grow.

Thanks for the comments and the visit guys :-D

Hugs from TGM,

the geek said...

each has its own pros and cons...

both hves struggles of their own..

xtian1978ii said...

you know what green, most of us take things for granted e. some people die without having the opportunity to appreciate and touch other lives. you, on the other hand, despite of the fact of being poz, you are very optimistic and I applaud you for that. I admire you and your courage to educate people so that they won't have the same fate you currently have.

Rcyan M. said...

some things happen without us being able to understand why these have to happen. but one for thing's for sure, you will definitely learn something from it.

keep the faith, man. you can do it!

The Green Man said...

@ Rcyan M: i agree! let's keep the faith... we can all do it!

tim said...

Wow, only faith will matter! it is about testing our faith how strong it is. so let the light so shine!

citybuoy said...

what matters is you're making the most of your life. i wish i could have your strength.

Mac Callister said...

yes indeed!lalo't madami nagmamahal sau and concern...

The Green Man said...

@ citybuoy: I am trying to do what I can. Thanks for the support buddy.

@ Mac: Hugs hugs to you, guy with the red flowers :-D