Tuesday, October 6, 2009

EX Files



[image from http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/03/28/x-files-2-teaser-poster.jpg]



I appreciate it when my entries receive comments, as each person’s insight becomes a learning thought for me and it helps me grow (one way or the other). It’s a privilege to be able to post comments, plus the comment section was placed there for a reason. I highly advise everyone to maximise that purpose. However, please take in mind that it’s also the bloggers right what to do next after those comments. So if comments were posted (or not), made to entries or received a response… we should be thankful that due attention was given to it.


I realized now why some bloggers decide to keep their real identity hidden behind a veil. That is because it is so easy for other people to textually attack them by leaving comments. Some people decide to not post and erase those hate messages (right Mr. Chronicles of E?) but there are those who are brave enough to create entries out of them (am I correct Aris?)


It was an hour past midnight and my Efav’s side effects are kicking in… I was feeling nauseous and all, when woozy my condition was aroused by a confrontational text message from an “old friend” (notice the sarcastic use of quotation marks) and annoying phone calls (well, the annoyance was due to the phone ringing with a call coming from a superfluous guest).


As a courtesy, I sent back about two messages as a response justifying my side and erased all other unread messages. There is no point reading hate messages, I thought. Also, I did not answer the phone as I didn’t see the need to do so.


But after receiving several missed calls, I got irritated and decided to turn my mobile phone off. But the hamster has its way of burrowing under the cabbages. Since this “old friend” knew my blog… he left me some comments, which is the reason I have this entry. Call me defensive or anything but I just wanted to get some messages through since these comments are based on a nasty history.


This is the last time I will be dealing with this situation. Any more comments and responses from “Mr. Anonymous“ (sarcastic use of quotation marks again) will be posted accordingly but will no longer receive this much consideration.



See my responses in GREEN text.



**********



On blog entry "Of flies and men"


“humphs, you dont fail to irritate me. umalis na nga ako sa papuntang probinsya at lahat, at eto ka na naman... “


I appreciate that you’re addressing me directly (via my “H” name) here. I wonder if you’d appreciate it if I address you here via your first name. Just let me know and I’d be more than willing to do so.


I don’t understand why you blame me when you get irritated. You’ve always been like that. Oh well… Ces la vis.


“sorry i am so mad... uncontrollably mad (like you during the time when sinuntok mo ako, sinira mo yung cabinet, and more violent acts etc. etc.)”


Don’t apologize for being mad kasi it’s natural. But you said you’re uncontrollably mad… so I suppose now you understand how I felt back then. I already apologized for my extremely unacceptable behaviour in the past and I made sure to learn from them. I had to, kasi I had to pay 10K for my laptop monitor when I “uncontrollably” punched it trying to “control” my anger within.


“sorry, words is the only way i know i can fight coz i would never hurt someone by my hands.”


I know Rizal fought using words and he was killed. Hmmm… I just have some reservations on your statement. From my personal experience, you used your words on me not to fight but to hurt. You admitted it in one of our discussions, you say things to deliberately hurt me because that’s the only way you know how you will surely hurt me. I can enumerate the undesirable words you used on me if I want to but it’s immaterial now.


“just leave me alone. stay away from me. respect me as i have respected you.”


I am leaving you alone. But I am confused why you’re making it sound like I am not.


If relocating back to where I came from, not texting you, not calling you, not responding to your messages and ignoring your calls, blocking you on all possible networking sites I have (except this blog kasi I don’t know how), not talking about you, trying to forget memories of you, moving on and gettin on with my life, is not qualified as “staying away from you”… then I don’t know what is.


I think you’re the one who has the “staying away” issues because it seemed like all the above mentioned strategies didn’t work. And please don’t even delve on the topic of respect unless you know how to give one.


i just called u after the storm as respect and i was genuinely concerned but it doesnt mean we're ok to get back or something like that. Thanks”


Thank you that you checked on me (three days after) the storm, and I am glad that all of you are safe over there. But if you’re going to take it against me, I’d rather you stop being concerned.


You forgot to mention that I didn’t pick up the phone when you were calling to check on me back then… That’s because I don’t see any reason why we need to talk. I simply just responded to your text message that seemed sincere asking how my family and I are doing, sine I thought that was the polite thing to do. What gave you the impression that I’d like to get back to you? Hello?



**********



On blog entry "The type of guy in me only few cared to see"



“hey. hi this comment is not related to this post. i am dumbfounded by your inability to understand the word, "respect."


I liked the way you used the adjective “dumbfounded”. Very clever indeed. Like I mentioned earlier, do not delve on the topic of respect if you can’t give one. You need to learn to understand that simply because people don’t do things you’re way means they are not respectful.


Oh By the way, I think your comment is related to my post because it talks about all “your” points of view about me… which is curiously interesting.


“first of all, aside from making a circus out of our phone conversations which are supposed to be private, you have willfully "forgotten" to delete them as you promise (which means, you dont keep promises).”


Did you feel like a clown when I posted those text conversations? Well that’s good. Because back then, I felt like the guy on the flying trapeze, doing somersaults without the net.


You should understand that this is my blog. You can’t just come in here asking me to remove my entries. That is just plain disrespectful. You can not just order people to do what you want, to suite your standards. I may have said yes to your persistent request that I take those blog entries out, but you know what? I decided not to. Why? Plain and simple: This is my blog and I do whatever I want with it.


also, i, made it a point to shut myself up in the province in order for me to be able to move back again to my life. in the process, i left you with respect with whatever you wanna do and i did not even for a time tried to interfere with your affairs as i hope you will do the same too. unfortunately, you have this very irritating attitude of being constantly unmindful of your actions that you always end up, if not breaking your promise, being such an ass. briefly, what im trying to say is "leave me alone!" (or at least leave me some respect)”


If you’ve shut up and if you’re not interfering with my affairs, like you say, then why this contact?


Let me reiterate this: I am leaving you alone (gosh, it pathetic that I have to repeat this line). You’re the one who keeps contacting me! So Please leave me alone too. If you want to maintain proximity, STAY AWAY FROM MY BLOG. You're the one who keeps tuning in and checking it (i guess out of paranoia).


I am not bothering you anymore (except for this retaliation, which you initiated), you're the one causing your stress by dwelling on the memory of the past. Whether you’re in the province or the metro… near or far, you won’t be able to move on if you won’t let go. Everyone already gotten over it, everyone already moved on… it’s about time you do the same.


“and please don’t make our neighbours (your ex-neighbours) think that you still live in my apartment. you can politely tell them honestly that you are no longer associated with me nor living in my place. also, I’m so delighted by your blatant 'respectfulness' (sarcastic) of posting comments in FB without me being able to read it as you blocked me.”


You need to update yourself. Because the last time I check, pretty much everyone knows we’re not together anymore and that I don’t live there anymore. I think you’re the only one who doesn’t know that?

It’s very apparent that they know because when I mentioned to M and A (your land lord/ lady) about my plans of renting a place in QC, M offered his grandma’s old room. No insinuation from my end there.


Another thing you need to learn to understand (and accept) is that not because people become ex-neighbors mean they can’t be friends anymore. It doesn’t work like that. And you don’t own people, you just can’t tell them who and who not to make friends with. You’re just not in the position to do that.


Remember that “friendship is like diamonds, it last forever.” But that’s not the case when you burn bridges… like what I am doing right now. I didn’t want to though, but you don’t give me reasons not to.


Good job (thumbs up) on FB’s feature on privacy! I blocked you in every possible networking site I can, so that you can stop harassing me like this. But I wonder why you’re so interested finding out what I comment in FB? So just you know, I never mentioned anything about you on any of my comments (I don’t see the point why I have to). Except that time I have to use your name (heaven forgive me), because I need I asked one neighbour to water the plants (which some of those are mine) outside your unit.


Feeling mo naman showbiz personality ka na pinaguusapan palagi? For you’re info, we don’t talk about you, Although, M, our landlord, was offering that I stay in his grandma’s old room, and jokingly pointed out that it directly faces your bedroom window. But I told him off saying “tapos nay un M. Move on na tayo” So, you’re barking at the wrong tree… you should tell “them” instead to stop bringing you up as a topic. Kasi kung ako lang, I don’t see the need to talk about you.


“for Christ sake, i live in the apartment and those people are my neighbours who i have to live with for as long as i want to stay there. [i don’t mind you trying to sugar-coat your whole image to other people, you still remain as the biggest wrong decision of my life] ill leave you alone respectfully, just do the same for me, please... “


Hmmm… I never really liked sweets, more so sugar coatings. You know for a fact that I didn’t mind if they find out I’m gay, that I was your partner, that I am HIV positive. So where is this accusation coming from?


If you want to look good in front of them… by all means do so, but don’t tell me how to dress myself before I face the Pope. Now whose donut has sugar on it?


Oh by the way, if I was a wrong decision… Then that gives you an opportunity to fine tune your “decision making skills.”


“and for the record, i called you after the storm because i am genuinely concerned, not because im trying to get back to you or whatever (which is impossible).”


I appreciate that you checked on me after the storm. Thank you. Also, I want you to know that I do not have plans on getting back with you. That’s for the record too!



**********



Dear Mr. Anonymous,


Behind all this, I want you to know that I understand your predicament. I know what you want to happen, and how you want it to happen. It’s just that it’s not me to just stay away from people I consider friends. I can be discreet about it though, if that’s any help.


But don’t worry, it might not look like it from your end, but I am doing what I can to keep that gap between us as I know that it serves an essential purpose for you. And since I am the one with the faster recovery capabilities, I might need to learn to extend more patience and understanding towards you.


You used to talk about forgiveness… that we have to learn to forgive our selves and then others, so that we’ll be able to let go and move on. Do that and you’ll be all right soon.


Everything goes through a process and time heals all wound. Mine has already healed. I hope yours will too.


Sincerely,

TGM




8 comments:

tim said...

hey there, i wonder why you changed your layout...

The Green Man said...

Hi Tim: I just want a new look that's all :-D

ACRYLIQUE said...

Just like a new hairstyle, a new lay out. :)

I so feel for you.
Why is it always messy (break up) when a long relationship ends?

do you befriend ex-files?
i dont. Never. but after the storm, there was an exemption. I still care. SIGH

The Green Man said...

Hi ACRYLIQUE ,

This new layout is refreshing.

Thank you for being with me. I also ask the same thing and until now do not have a definite answer except the fact that things happen for a reason, and that whatever that reason is always for the best.

I am friends with all of my ex-partners, except the most recent one. I'd like to though but the resistance is strong. I had to burn the bridge... which is so unfortunate.

Well that's life, you give, you get. But either way you gain and lose something. Everything remain a balance.

Thank you my friend, for the kind note :-D

Sincerely,
TGM

taympers said...

just hopped in. i dont know yet the commotion happening (if there is) but i hope everything will be fine. i find your layout kinda amusing. lab it.

The Green Man said...

Hi taympers,

no commotion here, so nothing to worry.

Everything will be all right soon, I hope... well at least it will to where it is due :-D

I am glad you liked my new lay out :-D

Visit me again.

Sincerely.
TGM

dabo said...

Ang hirap naman mag-comment dito. But at any rate

kantahin mo na lang ang These Days ni Jennifer Paige (meron din version ang Bardot nito)

Panalo sa lyrics and (meaning)

Some days I couldn't get up
I couldn't get down
Bored of everything
Somehow a little black cloud
Rained over me
Someone was making me mad
Good turned bad and I lose everything
Just to get you back

But
These days the world's alright
The sun shines bright
I'm kicking off the bad dreams
These days I don't think twice
I walk on light
I'm positively somewhere

(chorus)
These days go on long after you've gone
These days go on long after you've gone
These days go on and on and on and on and on

Out of the fire into the swimming pool
Sometimes I drown my tears
Same old fears come back
Someone was making me ill
I bet you're still
A two, three, four letter word
Guess you heard
Pretty little birds fly home

But
These days the sun kicks in
The good guys win
I'm legal in the back seat
These days I'm safe and sound
Not dragged down
You want to know the reason
These days go on long after you've gone
These days go on long after you've gone
These days go on and on and on and on and on

Thank you for not being here
I feel better when you're not sleeping in my head
Tossing and turning an' messing up the sheets
The love we made was incomplete
Like the shoes on your feet
The same stuff I've heard it before
That philosophy starting to bore me
Now you won't have to smile and ignore me

These days the karma's right
The sun shines bright
I'm kicking out the bad dreams
These days I don't think twice
I walk on light
I'm positively somewhere

These days go on [and on and on and on and on]
These days go on [and on and on and on and on]
These days go on [and on and on and on and on]

Ming Meows said...

same guy lang kaya sila?