Tuesday, June 16, 2009

"A Letter From Dad"

"A man's worth is measured by how he parents his children. What he gives them, what he keeps away from them, the lessons he teaches and the lessons he allows them to learn on their own." ~Lisa Rogers


As I have mentioned from my previous entry… Here is the letter I borrowed from Andrew that I posted in one of my networking sites. It's a timely coincidence that I decided to post this since Father's day is right around the corner.

After meeting Mr. Monroe and realizing that the he is not the same person as Andrew, and that the account I got this letter from lacks legitimacy, I am not sure now if this letter is genuine. Nonetheless, I like it and I would like to share it to everyone.

Although I was not able to authenticate the owner of the letter, what was said in the letter remains true and inspiring.... Read on.


You are young and life has yet to take its toll on you—to throw disappointments and heartaches and loneliness and struggles and pain into your path. You have not been worn down yet by long hours of thankless work, by the slings and arrows of everyday life. For this, be thankful. You are at a wonderful stage of life. You have many wonderful stages of life still to come but they are not without their costs and perils.

I hope to help you along your path by sharing some of the best of what I’ve learned. As with any advice, take it with a grain of salt. What works for me might not work for you.

Life Can Be Cruel:
There will be people in your life who won’t be very nice. They’ll tease you because you’re different or for no good reason. They might try to bully you or hurt you.
There’s not much you can do about these people except learn to deal with them and learn to choose friends who are kind to you, who actually care about you, who make you feel good about yourself. When you find friends like this, hold on to them, treasure them, spend time with them, be kind to them, love them.

There will be times when you are met with disappointment instead of success. Life won’t always turn out the way you want. This is just another thing you’ll have to learn to deal with. But, instead of letting these things get you down, push on. Accept disappointment and learn to persevere, to pursue your dreams despite pitfalls. Learn to turn negatives into positives and you’ll do much better in life.

You will also face heartbreak and abandonment by those you love. I hope you don’t have to face this too much, but it happens. Again, not much you can do but heal and to move on with your life. Let these pains become stepping stones to better things and use them to make you stronger.

But Be Open to Life Anyway:
Yes, you’ll find cruelty and suffering in your journey through life but don’t let that close you to new things. Don’t retreat from life, don’t hide or wall yourself off. Be open to new things, new experiences, new people.

You might get your heart broken 10 times but find the most wonderful person the 11th time. If you shut yourself off from love, you’ll miss out on that person, and the happiest times of your life.
You might get teased and bullied and hurt by people you meet—and then after meeting dozens of jerks, find a true friend. If you close yourself off to new people, and don’t open your heart to them, you’ll avoid pain but also lose out on meeting some incredible people who will be there during the toughest times of your life and create some of the best times of your life.

You will fail many times but, if you allow that to stop you from trying, you will miss out on the amazing feeling of success once you reach new heights with your accomplishments. Failure is a stepping stone to success.

Life Isn’t a Competition:
You will meet many people who will try to outdo you, in school, in college, at work. They’ll try to have nicer cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, cooler gadgets. To them, life is a competition—they have to do better than their peers to be happy.

Here’s a secret: life isn’t a competition. It’s a journey. If you spend that journey always trying to impress others, to outdo others, you’re wasting your journey. Instead, learn to enjoy the journey. Make it a journey of happiness, of constant learning, of continual improvement, of love.

Don’t worry about having a nicer car or house or anything material, or even a better-paying job. None of that matters a whit and none of it will make you happier. You’ll acquire these things and then only want more. Instead, learn to be satisfied with having enough—and then use the time you would have wasted trying to earn money to buy those things…use that time doing things you love. Find your passion and pursue it doggedly. Don’t settle for a job that pays the bills. Life is too short to waste on a job you hate.

Love Should Be Your Rule:
If there’s a single word you should live your life by, it should be this: Love. It might sound corny, I know but, trust me, there’s no better rule in life.

Some would live by the rule of success. Their lives will be stressful, unhappy and shallow. Others would live by the rule of selfishness—putting their needs above those of others. They will live lonely lives and will also be unhappy.

Still others will live by the rule of righteousness—trying to show the right path and admonishing anyone who doesn’t live by that path. They are concerned with others but in a negative way and, in the end, will only have their own righteousness to live with and that’s a horrible companion.

Live your life by the rule of love. Love your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, with all of your heart. Give them what they need and show them not cruelty nor disapproval nor coldness nor disappointment, but only love. Open your soul to them.

Love not only your loved ones, but your neighbors…your coworkers…strangers…your brothers and sisters in humanity. Offer anyone you meet a smile, a kind word, a kind gesture, a helping hand. Love not only neighbors and strangers but your enemy. The person who is cruelest to you, who has been unkind to you, love him. He is a tortured soul and most in need of your love.

And, most of all, love yourself. While others may criticize you, learn not to be so hard on yourself, to think that you’re ugly or dumb or unworthy of love but think, instead, that you are a wonderful human being worthy of happiness and love—and learn to love yourself for who you are.

Finally, know that I love you and always will. You are starting out on a weird, scary, daunting, but ultimately incredibly wonderful journey, and I will be there for you when I can.


Your Dad

** Taken (with permission) from http://thegoldenticket.multiply.com. Unfortunately, this account/ profile no longer exist.


Angelo said...


they don't write letters like that anymore, do they?

wanderingcommuter said...

darn, this made me cry...

what a good way to greet the upcoming father's day...

The Green Man said...

@ Angelo: I am not sure if they don't write letter like this... but I don't want to think they've stopped.

The Green Man said...

@ wanderingcommuter: It made me cry too... I go back to this letter every now and then kasi it reminds me of how to live a simple and happy life :-D

keb said...

"Here’s a secret: life isn’t a competition. It’s a journey. If you spend that journey always trying to impress others, to outdo others, you’re wasting your journey. Instead, learn to enjoy the journey. Make it a journey of happiness, of constant learning, of continual improvement, of love."

-> It's my favorite quote from the letter. Really, sometime, I we think life is a competition. Everything that exists becomes very competitive, yet we forget how beautiful life is! Great post! Keep it up dude!


Same here, i hope they did not stopped writing this letter.
He is a very loving Dad. :)

gillboard said...

This is a moving letter... In a way, I think it's meant for me...

The Green Man said...

@ keb: I like that excerpt too. Sometime we get too jaded of our surroundings that we tend to forget what "living" is all about.

Stay safe and keep the love alive :-D

The Green Man said...

@ ACRYLIQUE: Loving indeed. I bet all fathers are :-D

The Green Man said...

@ gillboard: It's a good reminder that we need to love more and keep up with it :-D

Angelo said...

shucks, what one wouldn't give just to get something like this again? nakaka-miss mga handwritten letters.