I am one of those Poz who are lucky to have a very supportive family. My parents never asked me how I got infected nor did they condemn me for being HIV positive.
I remembered how my mom uttered, back in the hospital when I told them about my condition… “Wag na ating tanungin kung pano nya nakuha, basta suportahan nalang natin sya” (Let’s not ask him how he got it instead let’s just support him.)
We’re Mormons and you can only imagine how conservative my family values are… nevertheless we’ve always maintained a liberal thinking.
My parents have a very good foundation as far as church values are concerned. They never fail to remind us of how we need to work on our life and our salvation. But please don’t get me wrong… my parents are very respectful when it comes to preaching their kids church stuff. Now you know where my values are coming from.
I paid my parents a visit last night. As usual my mom gave her reminder on how I need to set my priorities and how I need to work on the spiritual aspect of my life to be able to go back to heaven and be with my family and God. As a respectful son, I listened to my mom and what she had to say… She advised me to go to my bishop and advised me to confess my sins and work on my deliverance.
I asked my mom, if I do that, will my HIV go away? Will I get cured?
She paused and said, "no, but it will give you a chance to repent and start a new life."
I asked her, does the church accept HIV positive people? She answered, the church accept everyone who is willing. The church does not discriminate anyone.
I asked her, are you ready if people find out that your son is HIV positive?
Then she uttered one of the most loving answers she said so far…
“When I found out that you’re HIV positive, I got sad… I cried. But now I know I am ready. I always pray for you and write your name when I visit the temple. What other people will say is immaterial because they can’t say anything to harm us.”
She added, “Sometimes I wished I can turn back time and transform you into a baby once more… then I would be able to change the mistakes that was committed. But I can’t do that. Things happen for a reason and there is learning on everything that comes to pass.”
I can’t help my self from crying.
I had a long, heart to heart conversation with my mother and I felt her love and sincerity.
I have a lot of regrets in my life but my mother told me that we all make mistakes and it’s only fair to accept those mistakes, learn from them and move on and make sure we do better going forward.
She asked if she can give me a hug and asked me if it’s not too late. I said “no mom, it’s not too late.”
She gave me a very comforting embrace. I love my mother and I am thankful that she remained strong and wise despite her weaknesses.
She said she loves me and I said the same in return.
I never felt very open towards my mother about my feelings... but this time, I learned that it is very important to keep an open communication with your parents and other family members. Whatever we make of ourselves, our family will always be our family and it is only right that we show them we love them.