Thursday, March 19, 2009
Coming out 1: All in a Day’s Work
I spent the most of the day yesterday in front of my laptop updating the company website and over the phone harassing the IT guy who is maintaining our website. I had a few visitors throughout the day including my female boss who gave instructions on how to be more organized with stuff inside the office and in an over acting manner commented how surprised she was to realize that the image flashed on my laptop screen is not a photograph but, in real life, a charcoal drawing. I was also visited by the accountant whom I had to turn over some acknowledgment receipts for checks I released over the weekend and the petty cash reimbursement that’s a week over due. Other than that, everything was normal.
Me and dear project manager/ assistant, S, decided to go stay at the bench just outside the building and chat over a stick of Marlboro blue. We chatted how busy we both were the entire day and laughed about the funny situations we encountered during the day and at how amusing some clients and contemporaries were. Then I remembered there is still wine left chilled inside the fridge so I asked her if she wanted to have wine while chatting. Instantaneously, she said yes with a grin on her face.
Wine is indeed good for the body. Red skinned grapes turned to wine have Anti-aging effects. You get improved lung function from antioxidants in white wine. Wine is good for the heart, blood circulation, prevention of cancer development and a whole lot more. I think wines are magical, just make sure to drink moderately.
I have not finished my first glass and I am feeling warm and relaxed. So relaxed that me and S started sharing secrets. She shared this thing going on between her and one of our friends. Then it was my turn. The first thing that came to my head was coming out to her… I was initially having second thought but the sweet girl sitting in front of me earned my trust that I would like to share to her one of the most intimate secret I am keeping.
I saw the surprised look on her face when I told her about my health condition. But she’s cool. As expected, she had questions she needed to ask to erase her self-admitted ignorance about HIV. I told her how I got it; how I told my family and friends, about my ARV and the loving people I met in the process. I answered each and every single question she gave me with a smile and a tone of joy that everything is going to be alright.
I felt happy that I was able to clear another soul’s fear of the “used-to-be-a-dreadful” disease called HIV. Then I realized that, that’s the real satisfaction of coming out. It’s giving another person the realization that there’s more love and joy in the world that most people think. That’s what I thought because S told me that she would not know until I told her, because I am such a happy, healthy looking guy. She wished she is as strong and loving as I am. I gave her a reassuring smile. And we were laughing, chatting and drinking wine like nothing is so much of a big deal.
It’s really nice to spend quality time with people you appreciate, have a good laugh while drinking wine with a friend after an exhausting day at work. We bid farewell and she kissed me in the cheeks and whispered that my secret is safe with her, and I thought at least, that is the case, until I am ready to come out.
Well, all in a day’s work.