Tuesday, February 2, 2010

A Heart Full of Love


I am checked in Citystate Hotel in Malate Manila by my self, earlier than the other participants. I am covering a basic councelling workshop tomorrow. I had this time for myself to contemplate of what I have been doing with my life. While reflecting, it dawned to me that I would not been able to do what I have done if not for my very loving and supportive family by my side. So I decided to send my Mom a text messaged saying good night and I love you.

Not a second passed and my mobile phone rang. It’s my mom. The first thing she told me was that my dad was hoping I’d talk to him, she said he misses me. I need not ask as I have a strong instinct that they saw me on prime time news taking about my self and HIV.

I wanted to explain but she did not give me a chance to talk and continued to talk about how proud she was of me. She wants me to know that they think I am doing the right thing. She emphasized that what I did was a brave thing and that I am able to help make others understand what I am and the other Pozes are going through.

Mom told me that she is so proud that I did not resort to hiding my situation. She said that it’s only right to come out so that I could be a good example to others. She said that there is no reason for me to be afraid in admitting my HIV status. She even told me that she can talk in public and even go on national television with her testimonies as a mother with a Poz son.

When I got the chance to talk, I could not say anything but words of gratitude. I added that my brother, sisters and friends contacted me and gave their love and support as well.

I am overwhelmed by the love and support my mother and my family is giving me. As a compassionate mother, she did not forgot to remind me that by coming out, I am holding a big responsibility, not only to my self but towards others as well.

I could not agree more to what my mother just said. I also could not hold back my tears while I thank her for being such a loving and supportive mother.

Before I put down the phone, I wiped the tears streaming from my eyes and said I love you and expressed my gratitude to her.

I love you mom and I promise that, despite all the time I’ve wasted doing selfish acts, I will make you, dad, and the rest of the family proud of me.

Since I came out on TV (which I thought was stupid when the network did not show my entire face) I have been receiving supportive and loving words from friends and family, people from my previous job and people I have not even met. I want to thank all of you for the insurmountable understanding, support and love you have shown me and other people living with HIV.

I always believed that the world is ready to take me in… to take all of “us” in. All it takes is acceptance and a heart full of love.


Angelo said...

keep up the good work, h! :) you've been blessed with good family and friends.

big hugs!

p.s. i didn't get to watch the tv feature, but i'm sure you said all the right words.

Angelo said...

Toinks, the interview is posted below pala. Really proud of you, H! :)

Anonymous said...

hi H! i saw you on youtube and checked out the video just after mom told me about it :) i'm so proud of you brother... just can't call you 'coz i dont have your new number. hope to catch you soon pag di ka na busy. goodluck with the campaign! ingat palagi :)

btw, i'm your younger sister who has been stalking you through this blog ehehehehe :)