The Green Man Diary

Recovering from Depression and Sadness: A Curious Thoughts About HIV (and everything that matters)

2011-08-03T11:25:00.002+08:00

Curious Thoughts About HIV (and everything that matters)

Stress and depression are two of the factors that lowers a person's immune system (positive or not). A PLHIV friend going through emotional turmoil with his relationship. Other than taking antidepressants, he would like to know what is the best way to recover from depression and deep feeling of sadness. Let's help him by sharing our thoughts and experiences.

P.S.
Don't just click "like", please share your insight by leaving a comment. Every thought counts ♥ Thanks :D

Positive Voices: Humphrey Gorriceta

2010-11-13T10:10:00.017+08:00

Positive Voices: Humphrey Gorriceta

by Fridae Features Team

Positive Voices is a new ongoing series in which we will feature Asian LGBT individuals who are HIV-positive and are living positively.

Humphrey Gorriceta is one of the first Filipinos to publicly reveal his HIV-positive status after he was diagnosed in January 2008 while working as an operations supervisor in a business process outsourcing company in Manila.

The 34-year-old says based on personal experience “people are more accepting when they HIV literate” and so, he has made it his life’s mission to educate his family, friends, people he meets in his daily life and people he has yet to meet about HIV.

Humphrey recalled an incident where he tested positive during a drug test when he tried to renew his driver’s licence. When he was asked by the nurse to come back after a week as they were going to send his urine sample to the Department of Health, he decided to explain his HIV status and conducted an ART (Anti-Retroviral treatment) 101 on the spot with his mom, medical technician, nurse and doctor in attendance to account for the false positive. He got his driver’s licence in an hour.

“People discriminate because of their lack of knowledge about HIV. It’s human nature to be afraid of what we don’t know. That is why HIV educational advocacies are very important.” Said the spokesperson for the National Federation of Filipino Living with HIV and AIDS (NAFFWA) which represents PLHIV (People Living with HIV/AIDS) community-based groups in Philippines.

Humphrey tells Fridae what drives him in his advocacy work, his coming out journey and how coming out strengthened his familial bond and friendships.

æ: Who was the first person you spoke to after you received your initial positive test result? Why did you choose to tell this person?

Humphrey: When I got tested the first person to find out was the guy I was dating. He was with me when I got my HIV test results. He is a doctor so it was easy for me to tell him about my status.

æ: How has your HIV status affected your love and sex life?

Humphrey: The first year after finding out my status was a little difficult. I did not want to engage in any sexual activities because I felt that it was through unsafe sex that I got infected. Also there is the fear of accidentally infecting others. Although I’ve learned about safe sex and condom use, I still felt fearful engaging in sexual activities.

I came out to my friends about a year later and I started dating again. It wasn't an easy process but I was eventually able to tell the guys I dated about my status. It was amazing because I was never discriminated against. They understood and accepted me despite my being positive. But before I told them my status, I gradually educated them… I was giving them HIV 101 in instalments. I think that’s what made it relatively easy for them to accept my status.

æ: How do you decide whether to tell someone your HIV status?

Humphrey: I feel that people need to know about HIV and how to protect themselves. Coming out gives me the opportunity to educate people. More often than not, people ask a lot of question about HIV and I take advantage of the opportunity to change their mind if they have any misconception(s) about the virus.

I also feel that it’s right to tell people I care about, that I am HIV-positive. It shows respect and reinforces the fact that I care for them.

æ: What is one myth about living with HIV that you’ve now realise was incorrect?

Humphrey: When I learned that I am HIV-positive, I thought I was only going to have three years to live, five the most. But I was mistaken. I realised that there is still life after infection. For me it was a more productive and loving life.

æ: Has your relationship with your family and friends changed or evolved after you found out you are HIV-positive? If so, how?

Humphrey: It certainly did. I became closer to my family. The same is true with my friends. After I disclosed my status to my family, I realised that I’ve wasted so much time thinking about my self and despite what happened to me, my family still accepted me and understood what I was going through. It was hard for them at first but they were able to get through it. Of course I did my part educating and comforting them.

The same is true for my friends. I received the most loving words from friends and they stood by me and never judged me.

æ: Have you started Anti-Retroviral treatment (ART)?

Humphrey: Yes I am on antiretroviral drugs ever since I was tested positive. My CD4 was at 250 when I got my first count. I had a reaction with Nevirapine and I was hospitalised. I shifted to Efavirenze which gave a side effect. I get really dizzy an hour after I take it. But it was manageable since the effect only lasted more or less an hour.

æ: Tell us about one of your most memorable disclosure stories (friends, family, colleagues/bosses, doctors, partner or dates, etc).

Humphrey: All of my disclosure stories are memorable. I always get a smile, a hand shake, words of gratitude for sharing my story, a hug and loving words. Nevertheless, I would say that coming out to my family was the most memorable.

After disclosing to my family, everything changed for the better. I felt the bond of love and caring was strengthened. I started saying “I love you” to my parents and siblings, which I felt uncomfortable doing before I came out. Everything seemed beautiful and I found a purpose for my existence.

æ: How has living with HIV affected your current work?

Humphrey: Generally, living with HIV did not have a big impact on my work. I never had issues with my status and neither my co-workers and bosses. As a matter of fact, while I was still working as a General Manager in an art gallery, my female boss thanked me for coming out to them because they realised the importance of having a health insurance for their employees. She said that it doesn’t matter that I am HIV-positive as long as I do my job efficiently and effectively. They were all very supportive.

æ: Have you ever experienced discrimination on the basis of your HIV status from government agencies (eg. police, health workers, schools, employment officials, immigration agencies) or other areas (employers, businesses, clubs, etc). If so, please tell us what happened.

Humphrey: I never really got discriminated, although people usually get a surprise everytime I disclose to them. Usually the surprised reaction they have is due to their lack of knowledge about HIV.

There was one time when I was renewing my driver’s licence and I tested positive on the drug test. The nurse said I had to come back after a week since they need to have my urine sample confirmed with the Department of Health. I told them there is no need for that and I justified that the result is false positive due to the antiretroviral drugs I am taking. I showed them my meds. They don’t know what ART is and did not believe me at first. I had to conduct an ART 101 in the testing centre with my mom, medical technician, nurse and doctor as my audience. After an hour I got my licence.

People discriminate because of their lack of knowledge about HIV. It’s human nature to be afraid of what we don’t know. That is why HIV educational advocacies are very important.

æ: Can you share one humorous or odd thing about your life with HIV?

Humphrey: When I talk to people about my story as a person living with HIV, they always ask me how my sex life is. I find it funny how people always equate HIV with sex. What they don’t realise is that there is more to life than just sex. Sex is just a dot on a paper.

æ: What needs to happen in order for people living with HIV to feel more comfortable about telling people about their status?

Humphrey: For a PLHA (Person Living with HIV/AIDS) to feel comfortable about telling people about their status, there should be trust, respect and understanding. But amongst the three, “trust” is the most essential.

æ: Stigma and discrimination against people living with HIV is often quite challenging for everyone. What is one simple thing that people could do to encourage more acceptance in the community?

Humphrey: People need be educated about HIV. What it is and what it is not. From my personal experiences, people are more accepting when they HIV literate. I can’t remember how many times I’ve disclosed my status and I’ve never been seriously discriminated. I’ve disclosed to my family, my friends, to a plenary of students and professionals. I’ve disclosed to strangers and not one treated me indifferently. But I make sure that before or after disclosure, I educate them about my status, my infection, about positive prevention and everything I can share about HIV.

æ: What is one thing that you want to do in the future to help the LGBT or PLHIV community?

Humphrey: There are lots of things I want to do to help the LGBT and the PLHIV community. But the top three on my list are: 1) come out to put a face on HIV, 2) share my story and 3) advocate to help educate people. All of these goals aim to eliminate stigma and discrimination, help stop infection and help LGBT and PLHIV live more productive and healthier lives.

æ: How do you feel about your future?

Humphrey: Sometimes I worry what the future holds for me. But I am optimistic that everything will be alright. I am currently doing HIV/ AIDS advocacy work and it gives me a certain kind of fulfilment knowing that there are good people working with me to ensure PLHIV receive treatment care and support, LGBT community are given education to help protect them from infection and working to reduce stigma and discrimination. However, the current HIV/ AIDS situation in the Philippines is making it more challenging living with the infection. The fear of losing ART is apparent. The government needs to be more supportive and give extra attention to the HIV prevention, treatment care and support program in the country. This is why we in the advocacy work double time to ensure that the LGBT and PLHIV community is protected and supported accordingly.

If you are HIV-positive and living in Asia, and want to share your story, please write to editor@fridae.com.

Look out for PositiveVoices.Net, a soon-to-be-launched social networking site for HIV-positive gay men and transgender people living in Asia built around their shared experience of living with HIV.

Source: http://www.fridae.com/newsfeatures/2010/11/12/10431.positive-voices-humphrey-gorriceta

Hello again :-)

2010-10-09T16:28:00.001+08:00

Hi guys,

I’ve lost my self in the loop since I’ve been busy with advocacy and digging a deeper nich for my self. But I am back (again).

I’ve relocated in Cebu and there’s a lot of interesting stuff down here. A lot of good and some unfortunate stories to share.

Just bear with me and you will, once more, get a taste of the greenman diary.

I missed all of you guys.

Hugs!

Good Morning!

2010-04-21T07:14:00.003+08:00

I woke at 5am today and felt extra extraordinarily happy. I felt that this day is going to be a good one.

I took advantage of the optimistic energy I have and started the day washing my car. Then I had a small breakfast and send a good morning message to all my loving friends.

I feel so lucky that I am surrounded by so much love. It’s an overwhelming feeling that words are not enough to explain it.

If you get this sort of feeling when you wake up in the morning, take advantage of it because in a cynical world, days such as this one rarely come.

I love you all.

Good morning!

Friday night and revelations

2010-04-18T15:58:00.005+08:00

Image source: http://images.google.com.ph/imglanding?q=aura&imgurl=http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2033/2367901363_ef0b8d2ac1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.flickr.com/photos/petit_pierrot/2367901363/&usg=__n-Gvs-gto61CjDnJlunRmlq98s=&h=500&w=375&sz=27&hl=en&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=g0Z6OApNpplUqM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=98&prev=/images%3Fq%3Daura%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26newwindow%3D1%26sa%3DG%26rlz%3D1C1CHNY_enPH367PH368%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&newwindow=1&sa=G&rlz=1C1CHNY_enPH367PH368&tbs=isch:1&start=7

It was a Friday night and Joshua invited me to go out and unwind. We went to Malate with another friend, Carlo. I seldom go out and go to places such as Malate but being someone of a friendly nature, I am not surprised to expect and see friends their.

Beside the table we were seated, outside this bar called “O”, I saw Didit, One of my very close friends in UP. Didit and I were dorm mates. He just arrived a few weeks back from UAE, Dubai, I suppose. He was a fashion designer there but was imprisoned for posting his design and promoting his company’s brand online. But he’s back and we’re both glad he’s safe. He is with his lifetime partner that night. I joked about how our circle of friends have “series of unfortunate events”. Then he asked what my unfortunate event. I told him I don’t see it as an unfortunate event, really. And then I told him I am two year old Poz. He was surprised to here my news but kept that “I-am-ok-you‘re-ok-it-doesn’t-matter-because-we’re-friends” smile in his face. Then we hugged and said good night.

I was reintroduced to Kana. He’s Joshua’s friend who work for the European Union (EU). EU is one of the entities represented in the Country Coordinating Mechanism of Global Fund to the Philippines. Global Fund funds the program fighting to eradicate Tuberculosis, Malaria and HIV. I first met Kana at a gathering where I was invited by a close friend also working in the same advocacy. Kana is a nice, smart guy with a beautiful smile. We talked about HIV/ AIDS issues in the Philippines, fundings and stuff about marriage. He stayed with us until we called it an evening.

Then after a while, I saw Yayo. Another good friend, a dorm mate and a classmate back in UP, again. He smile broadened when he saw me. We hugged asked how each other’s doing. I said I am working as full time advocate against HIV/ AIDS. He said that’s cool and told me that he got tested and was negative. I told him I got my self tested to… then he asked for my results. I said I tested positive. I knew he was shocked with my revelation but was very supportive. He hugged me again and commented that I look healthy. I responded saying I’ve always been healthy. And we laughed. We talked for a while about his plans and my plans. He then told me that he needed my help because he has a friend who was recently diagnosed to be positive. I said I am all willing to help. Then he introduced me to another friend.

Rendell is a nice guy. Based on the way he talk, the way he approached me, I got the impression that he’s more intelligent than an average guy. We chatted a while about how I am willing to help their newly diagnosed friend, what sort of set-up would be ideal on meeting his friend and the fact that Yayo is still single. Without censorship,, he told me that I have a yellow aura and that my numerology number is 5. I asked what’s that supposed to mean. He said he is not sure but that’s what he sees in me. He also said that he sees the color green, like a leaf. And he thinks it represents money. I joked and said that I hope what he’s saying is true as we need money to fund out upcoming projects in the advocacy. We chatted a little more and bid farewell.

I was curious about what Rendell told me so I searched the net for the meaning of auras and numerologies. I came to a website called: http://www.thiaoouba.com/see_aura_color.htm and this is what I found…

A yellow aura means joy, freedom, non-attachment, freeing or releasing vital forces. People who glow yellow are full of inner joy, very generous and not attached to anything. Yellow halo around the head: high spiritual development. A signature of a spiritual teacher. Do not accept spiritual teachings from anyone who does not have such a yellow halo. Buddha and Christ had yellow halos extending to their arms. Today it is rare on Earth to find a person with a halo larger than 1 inch. Yellow halo appears as a result of a highly active brow chakra (which can be seen glowing with violet by many people at my workshops). Highly spiritual people stimulate the brow chakra continuously for many years, because they always have intensive spiritual thoughts in their minds. When this chakra is observed when highly active, a yellow (Auric pair) halo appears around it, surrounding the entire head. Yellow thought indicates a moment of joy and contentment.

Then another website called http://www.spiritual-numerology.com/numerology-number-meaning/numerology-meaning-of-number-5.html defined some interesting facts about the characteristics of the numerology number 5. It says…

Number 5 is the most flexible of all numbers. You most likely have some of the following strengths and talents at your disposal if the number 5 appears in your numerology chart. You make friends easily, you are versatile and multi-talented, upbeat and inspirational and a good communicator and motivator. You have great verbal skills and you are very dynamic, persuasive, adaptable, versatile and curious, courageous, bright and quick-witted. You are an explorer and adventurer who want to experience all of life, you also like to perform in front of audiences and you like to do several things at the same time.

Some of the following weaknesses, which are associated with the number 5, could slow down or even prevent your progress. But don't worry; it's very unlikely that all of the listed characteristics are part of your personality. Most probably, only one or a few of them will belong to you. It is difficult for you to commit to one relationship and you have difficulties to finish projects. You lack discipline and order, you are impatient, restless, easily distracted and you can be very impulsive. You might also be susceptible to overindulgence in sensual pleasures. Discipline and focus are the keys to your success.

That night was a night filled with revelation and coincidental proof that there is a bigger plan for me. I don’t have any idea what it is, but I am hopeful that it’s for the best of everything.

Living Advocacy

2010-04-17T12:57:00.008+08:00

Humphrey Gorriceta

Spokesperon, National Federation of Filipino Living with HIV and AIDS (NAFFWA)

Living Advocacy

By Mikee dela Cruz

PUBLISHED: APRIL 2010

A former partner involved in GLBTQIA/human rights advocacy introduced Humphrey Gorriceta to, yes, GLBTQIA/human rights advocacy – “I was able to see and become aware of the concerns faced by (GLBTQIAs, as I) joined out of town activities and mobilization, (and did) some volunteer work like production work and minor graphic designs (for the group),” he recalls.

"There are a lot of things I am proud of. But the one thing that tops my list (of achievements) is having been able to come out with my HIV status, and (starting to) work to help eliminate the stigma and discrimination experienced by the positive community through educational advocacies.” The “part-time participation” was, for a while, the extent of Humphrey’s participation in GLBTQIA advocacy. At least until after 2008.

“I was diagnosed to be infected with HIV back in 2008. It was after I started on anti-retroviral medication that my HIV related health situation started to sink in. I realized that since I will be HIV positive for the rest of my life, I might as well be productive with the remaining time I have,” Humphrey recalls. “I didn’t know exactly how… I want to believe it was because of divine intervention, but I woke up one morning and realized I feel fulfilled doing advocacy work against HIV/AIDS and help the GLBTQIA community (as) my line of work.”

And so an advocate was made. Humphrey is now the spokesperson of the National Federation of Filipino Living with HIV and AIDS (NaFFWA).

CHANGING LIVES

“Working and living as an advocate gave me a new purpose in life. I learned to be humble in all my dealings and it taught me to care even to those people not related to me. I learned to look at things objectively and see the goodness in every person and situation and find a way to magnify that goodness,” Humphrey says. Becoming an advocate “affected my life in ways I never imagined it would. I used to manage an art gallery and living a lucrative lifestyle. When I decided to became an advocate, I lost all that but gained something better. I learned a lot of things, I heard a lot of inspiring stories and, I’ve seen the different faces of life.”

Humphrey admits that “full-time advocacy/volunteer work don’t pay as much as a corporate job – that’s one of the challenges I faced when I decided to take on this responsibility,” he says. Adding that “I also have to get used to working outside of the regular corporate schedule and environment.”

Facing these challenges, nonetheless, was manageable “by redesigning my spending habit and prioritize only those basic and what is important. I also learned to live a healthy lifestyle that enabled me go through the fast paced, changing the schedule I have. In general, with the determination and renewed purpose at hand, I was able to manage these challenges.”

It helps, of course, that Humphrey has “a very loving family. My family has always been supportive with what I do, as long as it’s productive and does not do anything not good towards others. They are very vocal about their feelings towards what I do. They feel that what I am doing is good and that I am helping educate people about HIV and AIDS. They always encourage me to do well with my work and continue to be a good example towards others. They always remind me how proud they are of me that I did not resort to hiding my HIV status and I was able to manage to find a purpose on the adversity bestowed upon me.”

Humphrey adds: “However, like every concerned family, they never missed to remind me that I should still take care of my health, be mindful of what I say and how I treat other people, and that I have a big responsibility towards myself and others.”

FACING CHALLENGES

“There are a lot of things that continue to be challenges for me. But the one I consider as most challenging is dealing with people who see my good and sincere intention as something deterrent to their own purpose. I work to help people but there are those who see me (and the people who I work with) as enemy/ies,” Humphrey says.

This is disappointing, true, ditto “the discrimination that exists within our community. If dealing with the stigma and discrimination from the society is difficult enough, imagine how challenging it is to manage the same concern within the HIV/AIDS and GLBTQIA community.”

As an advocate against HIV/AIDS, Humphrey believes “we have to focus on educating as many people as we can on the issues concerning the seropositive community and the GLBTQIA community. Doing this will help eliminate stigma and discrimination that most of our friends in the community are experiencing. Eradicating stigma and discrimination will help our community live a safer, healthier, and more productive life. And this will definitely have a ripple effect in the progress of our nation.”

Humphrey, nonetheless, remains positive. “It inspires me to see people in our community sharing, helping and working to reach the same goals. I’ve always believed that there is more love and hope in this world than we think there is. This thinking helps me continue to have the drive to keep going and do better with my advocacy work,” he says.

SEEING THE GOOD

At 34 years of age, Humphrey, who says “I am half way through my life,” acknowledges that there are “a lot of things... I am proud of. But the one thing that tops my list (of achievements) is having been able to come out with my HIV status, and (starting to) work to help eliminate the stigma and discrimination experienced by the positive community through educational advocacies.”

Humphrey adds: “I plan to continue doing advocacy on HIV/AIDS. I aspire to be able to go around, travel here and abroad as an inspirational speaker, helping people realize how great they can be and the heights they will reach if they put their hearts and minds together.”

And after all is said and done, how does Humphrey want to be remembered? Simply, “as Humphrey Gorriceta, the Poz guy who believed that hope is never lost and did what he can to make this world a safe, healthy, and better place to live in for people living with HIV, the GLBTQI community, and their family and friends.”

And, yes, he has already started attaining this.

Article source: http://www.outragemag.com/web/HumphreyGorriceta.html

2010 AIDS Summit Closing Remarks from the Positive Community

2010-04-12T20:37:00.009+08:00

HIV Summit 2010

Call to Action for Broad Based Response to HIV/ AIDS by Leaders

Closing remarks from the positive community

Presented By: Humphrey Gorriceta

Spokes person for The National Federation of Filipino

Living with HIV & AIDS (NaFFWA)

12 April 2010

Manila Diamond Hotel

Ermita Manila

-----------------------------------------------

Good afternoon everyone. I am Humphrey Gorriceta, spokes person for the National Federation of Filipino Living with HIV and AIDS. A national peak body representing PLHIV community-based groups in Philippines.

In behalf of the positive community, I would like to express my utmost gratitude to all of you for prioritizing this significant event.

(asked the audience to give themselves a round of applause for self-affirmation)

The fight against HIV/ AIDS is one of the greatest challenges our country is facing today. In the course of human history there has never been a greater threat than the HIV/AIDS epidemic. The epidemic is made worse by the unbearable stigma and discrimination that continues to exist in everyday life.

As a recall, first case of HIV infection in the Philippines was reported back in 1984 and since then the Filipino has suffered tremendously. Nevertheless, we have achieved a number of important breakthroughs and mile stones:

More than two decades ago, HIV was identified.
More than ten, the first therapies were discovered, saving thousands of lives and giving new hope to millions of people living with HIV.
Right now, we have the potential for mobilizing the necessary medical and financial resources to defeat the epidemic. What is lacking is the political will of our leaders and full support from the religious community to save lives.
And today we are all gathered here to unite and reach the same goal of putting a stop to the spread of HIV.

All of us will definitely be criticize ruthlessly if we do not respond with all the efforts and resources that we can mobilize in the fight against HIV/AIDS. We should stay focused and determined to put a stop to this disguised enemy. As we agree on the conclusion of this important gathering we should all ensure that the national response is sufficient to change the direction of the epidemic.

Before we come to a close, I would like to leave the following messages to:

NATIONAL & LOCAL GOVERNMENT LEADERS
As the people seated in the position, you hold the biggest bundle of our hope for our survival. I urge all the national and local leaders to push for the HIV/ AIDS treatment plan to a higher level and put it to action. I call to FORWARD A FILIPINO PEOPLE’S HIV/AIDS SUSTAINABLE TREATMENT PLAN! IT IS OUR CONSTITUTIONAL AND HUMAN RIGHT.

I know it is easier said than done. It would mean that we have to allocate more budgets to health. The health care infrastructure will need to be improved in many areas. The inequity between the private and the public health-care sector needs to be reduced. And there should be a stronger political will. But with the right attitude and a stronger political will, we will be able to achieve this. As the cliché goes: “If there’s a will, there’s a way.” Allow me translate that it Filipino…”Kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw may dahlian.”

This is part of your responsibility and we trust you will not fail us on this.

CHURCH LEADERS
In many ways, we are proud that the church has a strong influence on our values. The sanctity of life is fundamental to all of us. And we also believe in strong families consisting of committed individuals. For this reason, we would like to recommend the church leaders to please continue with your promotion to instil positive values to the community as we see this as equally important weapon in our fight to stop HIV infection. However, please do not be a hindrance to the government’s advocacy to impart the further information to the same community as to how they can protect themselves from the dreaded virus. For only in having a clear understanding of what we are up against can one efficiently exercise the same values we’ve acquired from you. What use are the values you gave us if we don’t know how to use it?

MEDIA AND ACADEME
Media and academe is a powerful social agent of change. They have the widest coverage since every Filipino family, one way or another, has an access to any form of media source and most have access to education and some form of learning. For this reason, you play a very important role in the fight to stop HIV/ AIDS. I would like to take this opportunity to ask the media, to be more responsible in media coverage and continue to help us spread accurate information through your reporting. And the academe, please support sexuality education that is unbiased, informed and scientifically sound. And always search, research and teach what is true and what is needed.

We trust you will not fail us on this.

CIVIL SOCIETY AND FUNDERS
From the bottom of our hearts, we would like to express our sincerest gratitude for your unwavering support on our fight stop HIV/ AIDS, to eradicate the stigma and discrimination faced by PLHIV, their families and friends. Let us maintain our good partnership and build a stronger bond of friendship amongst ourselves. We hope that you continue to support us until we reach our goal and aspirations.

POSITIVE COMMUNITY

We would like to remind all PLHIV to:
Live positively and productively both towards yourself and to others.
Continue to strive to be full members of our community and society.
Continue to play an active role in education, advocacy, care and support in order to enhance our lives and the lives of others.
Bring the voice of those infected, affected and those stigmatized in our society to the multi-sectoral response to HIV/ AIDS.
Continue to strive for improvement of the quality of life of our infected and affected brothers and sisters.
We should work together to ensure better coordination and communication between stakeholders and key players.

We owe nothing less to our to young people and future generations. This is our obligation, to show a spirit of responsibility, a spirit of partnership, a spirit of solidarity, to finally put an end to the dreadful experiences caused by the fatal and irreversible disease.

Let us all work together to make this nation a safer, healthier and better place to live in.

This is the message you own and for which I hope for, on behalf of the positive community.

Thank you.

Ingat lagi.

The Delicate Rabbit

2010-03-11T12:02:00.009+08:00

http://img.visualizeus.com/thumbs/09/02/01/cute,rabbit-94a6479a151629cfd3a4db9bd0ca211a_h.jpg

NAME: Humphrey

BIRTH DATE: November 26, 1975

CHINESE ASTROLOGY SIGN: Rabbit

THE DELICATE RABBIT

CHARACTER

The rabbit person is sociable, kind, compassionate and humble, and most probably artistic or at least creative in some way. The rabbit is one of the most delicate animals among all 12 animals. Rabbits are usually kind and sweet and of course, popular people. Nobody ignores them, for they are good company and know how to make the best of themselves.

Rabbits are sensitive souls, rather mercurial, with the gift of foresight and intuition, and are born to live rich and fortunate lives. Traditionally this is also the fertility symbol of animal signs, and it is said that the rabbit is also the symbol of immortality.

A rabbit's home is always a beautiful one because Rabbit people are famous for their artistic sense and good taste. They are also usually well dressed. Go check out your Rabbit friend's closet, I bet you will find many expensive and beautiful clothing there.

But even though they are popular and loved by their friends and family, rabbit people are also pessimistic. They are conservative and insecure, and that explains why most of them don't like changes.

They like traditional things. Anything new, including new people, can make them little nervous. Rabbits are the people you can always turn for understanding, and others will be drawn to them for this reason. Rabbit people are very discreet, and won't tell anybody something told to them in confidence.

Rabbits expect and adore good food, and a trip to any eating joint with a rabbit is likely to prove an expensive night or afternoon out. They also love to shop, especially for personal and expensive clothes. They will keep working towards their goal irrespective of any hurdles, despite the fact that they hate complications. They may dislike travel, but if planning to go abroad they will read up about their destination beforehand, and they want to see all the places, art galleries and cultural centers once they get there.

LUCKY NUMBERS - 1,3,5,9,15,19 and 35

COMPATIBILITY

(1 -at least compatible, 100 - most compatible)

Rat - 31 - Not compatible.

Ox - 65 - This could work.

Tiger - 44 - Difficult. Possible convenience marriage

Rabbit - 70 - Why not? As long as they have loads of money.

Dragon - 82 - Good team.

Snake - 60 - Think again.

Horse - 50 - Why not just be friends?

Goat - 81 - Nice couple.

Monkey - 71 - Amusing.

Rooster - 52 - Well, maybe not.

Dog - 74 - Fine, as long as they keep it cool.

Pig - 89 - Good, very good and everything will be fine.

Source: http://www.kamalkapoor.com/chinese/chinese-astrology-rabbit.asp

When, why, what & how

2010-03-07T07:47:00.004+08:00

http://www.cmoe.com/blog/wp-content/images/question-mark.jpg

When and why did you become a LGBT/HIV advocate?

A few years back, I had a relationship with a guy who was doing LGBT/ Human rights advocacy and that’s how I was introduced to the work. I was joining out of town activities and mobilization. I was doing some volunteer work like production work and minor graphic design. I was able to see and become aware of the concerns faced by our LGBT friends.

I was diagnosed to be infected with HIV back 2008. It was after I started on anti-retroviral medication that my HIV related health situation started to sink in. I realized that since I will be HIV positive for the rest of my life, I might as well be productive with the remaining time I have. I didn’t know exactly how… I want to believe it was because of divine intervention, but I woke up one morning and realized I feel fulfilled doing advocacy against HIV/ AIDS and help our LGBT community within my line of work.

How did this decision of becoming an advocate affect your life?

It affected my life in ways I never imagined it would. I used to manage an art gallery and living a lucrative lifestyle. When I decided to became an advocate, I lost all that but gained something better. I learned a lot of things, I heard a lot of inspiring stories and, I’ve seen the different faces of life.

Working and living as an advocate gave me a new purpose in life. I learned to be humble in all my dealings and it taught me to care even to those people not related to me. I learned to look at things objectively and see the goodness in every person and situation and find a way to magnify that goodness.

What are the challenges you had to face in this decision? How were these challenges faced?

Full-time advocacy and volunteer work don’t pay as much as a corporate job. That’s one of the challenges I faced when I decided to take on this responsibility. I also have to get used to working outside of the regular corporate schedule and environment. I was able to manage these challenges by redesign my spending habit and prioritize only those basic and what is important. I also learned to live a healthy lifestyle that enabled me go through the faced paced, changing schedule I have. In general, with the determination and renewed purpose at hand, I was able to manage these challenges.

What continue to be challenges for you now?

There are a lot of things that continue to be challenges for me. But the one I consider as most challenging is dealing with people who see my good and sincere intention as something deterrent to their own purpose. I work to help people but there are those that see me (and the people who I work with) as enemy.

How did your family react to your advocacy?

I am very lucky to have a very loving family. My family has always been supportive with what I do, as long as it’s productive and does not do anything not good towards others. They are very vocal about their feelings towards what I do. They feel that what I am doing is good and that I am helping educate people about HIV and AIDS. They always encourage me to do well with my work and continue to be a good example towards others. They always remind me how proud they are of me that I did not resort to hiding my HIV status and I was able to manage to find a purpose on the adversity bestowed upon me.

However, like every concerned family, they never missed to remind me that I should still take care of my health, be mindful of what I say and how I treat other people, and that I have a big responsibility towards my self and others.

What are your achievements you are proud of?

I am thirty four years old right now and I am half way though my life. I have a lot of things to share as achievements I am proud of. But the one thing that topped my list is being able to come out with my HIV status and work to help eliminate the stigma and discrimination experienced by the positive community through educational advocacies.

What, for you, are the issues we should focus on now? Why so?

I work on advocating against HIV/ AIDS. Some of the people I meet belong to the LGBT community. I feel that in my line of work, we have to focus on educating as many people as we can on the issues concerning the positive community and the LGBT community. Doing this will help eliminate stigma and discrimination that most of our friend in the community are experiencing. Eradicating stigma and discrimination will help our community live a safer, healthier and more productive life. And this will definitely have a ripple effect in progress of our nation.

What are your disappointments in the LGBT community?

The only thing that I feel sad about the LGBT advocacy is the discrimination that exists within our community. If dealing with the stigma and discrimination from the society is difficult enough, imagine how challenging it is to manage the same concern within the HIV/ AIDS and LGBT community.

What inspires you in our community?

It inspires me to see people in our community sharing, helping and working to reach the same goals. I’ve always believed that there is more love and hope in this world than we think there is. This thinking help me continue to have the drive to keep going and do better with my advocacy work.

What are your future plans of?

I plan to continue doing advocacy on HIV/ AIDS. I aspire to be able to go around, travel here and abroad as an inspiration speaker helping people realize how great they can be and the heights they will reach if they put their hearts and mind together.

After all is said and done, how do you want people to remember you?
This is a very interesting question. I’ve never been ask this one before. But if all have been said and done, I just want to be remembered as Humphrey Gorriceta. I am the Poz guy who believed that hope is never lost and did what he can to make this world a safe, healthy and better place to live in for People Living with HIV, the LGBT community, their family and friends.

Making a positive change in another person’s life

2010-02-18T08:28:00.008+08:00

[Original images @ http://rlv.zcache.com/trend_setter_tshirt-p235160115781879058c2mc_400.jpg]

I was confirmed HIV positive last January 2008. I thought living with HIV was the worst thing that could happen to me. I was mistaken. It is living with HIV, not knowing that I have it, and not being equipped with the right information is much worse.

Part of the process of finding out your HIV status is Voluntary Counseling and Testing or commonly referred to as VCT. As a rule, VCT require two counseling sessions: A “pre-testing counseling” is conducted before taking the HIV test and a “post-test counseling”, regardless of the outcome, is done after the HIV test results has been given. These counseling focuses mainly on the medical aspects of HIV and AIDS, the tests and positive behavior change.

I was one of the unfortunate who did not receive counseling when tested for HIV. Otherwise it would have been easy for me to come to term with my situation. I was referred to, and was tested in a small private clinic in Manila, which did not seem to have the capacity to conduct the required counseling. I did not know the importance and the need for a counseling until I was referred by a friend to an infectious disease specialist in The Philippine General Hospital (PGH) and met people from AIDS Society of the Philippines (ASP), who unconditionally accepted me when I expressed my intentions to engage in their advocacy.

With ASP’s guidance, I got involved with VCT workshops and other activities as a community representative doing testimonials and as a resource speaker providing basic information about HIV and how it is like to be a person living with the dreaded virus. My involvement gave me a deeper perspective and understanding of the importance of counseling and how it effectively helps in eliminating stigma and discrimination.

I recall in one of the VCT workshops I’ve attended, where most of the participants were doctors and health workers, a female participant approached me after I came out with my HIV status and gave shared my story. She asked how a normal looking guy, like me, be a person living with HIV. I was humbled by her comments and realized that regardless of a one’s educational background, profession and stature in life, a person’s appearance, at some point, is still being used as a basis in judging a person’s HIV status. Nevertheless, I felt assured that her participation in the VCT workshop will help give her a renewed perception towards people like me.

As I gain further understanding in the importance of counseling, in providing guidance to people getting tested for HIV and in the efforts to eliminate stigma and discrimination, by involving my self in activities such as VCT workshops, I am confident that the workshop participants also gained the same awareness. This is one of the reasons why I have devoted my self in educational advocacy towards helping people understand HIV and how they can protect themselves and the people around them.

We are all connected in ways we can only imagine. One person’s actions and decisions affect another person’s quality of life. Therefore, activities such as Voluntary Counseling and Testing workshop is one of the effective means of empowering people involved in the fight against HIV and AIDS to make a positive change in other people’s lives. This also help eliminate stigma and discrimination that will aid in making our nation a safe, healthy and a better place to live in for People Living With HIV and AIDS, their families and friends.

Situation of the HIV & AIDS Epidemic in the Philippines - FAQ

2010-02-09T14:35:00.004+08:00

Frequently Asked Questions:
Situation of the HIV & AIDS Epidemic in the Philippines
Source: PNAC (Philippine National Aids Council) Feb 2010

The DOH-NEC noted 4,424 HIV positive cases in the country since the first documented case in 1984 to the end of 2009. For 2009 alone, there were 832 HIV positive cases recorded in the Philippine National AIDS Registry. To date, an average of about two (2) new HIV cases are reported per day in the Philippines. The Health Department warns that this number only represents the tip of the iceberg from the actual number of cases since some may be unaware of their status or some are still not reporting their infection due to the stigma attached to the disease.

Who in the population are most affected?
Anyone who engages in behaviors, such as:
1.having multiple sex partners;
2.practice of unprotected penetrative sex (Vaginal, Anal or Oral) without the use of a condom; and,
3.injecting drug use and sharing injecting equipment
are considered most-at-risk and has the highest possibility to contract the disease.

Specifically, population groups who are considered most-at-risk are:
1.people in prostitution and their clients;
2.injecting drug users;
3.males having unprotected sex with other males; and,
4.people who are practicing unprotected sex and peculiar sexual practices such as anal sex.
On the other hand, several segments of the populations are considered vulnerable due to the nature of their work and exposure to several unique environments. These are OFWs and young people.

Should the Filipinos be alarmed with this situation?
Yes, the number of cases doubled in about two years. From one (1) new case reported every day in 2007 to two (2) new cases per day in 2009. It is also increasing in parallel to urbanizing communities.

How has the Government addressed the Situation?
CURRENT CONCRETE ACTIONS BY THE GOVERNMENT TRHU PNAC
1.Emphasize targeted prevention practices (information campaign, safer skills like negotiation skill, access to commodities and services, vulnerability reduction and empowerment)
2.Focus on most at RISK populations (esp. freelance Female Sex Workers and Men having Sex with Men and Person Who Injects Drug)
3.Partner with LGUs develop their local response on STI, HIV and AIDS through the provision of technical assistance
4.Prioritise intervention actions in Metro Manila, Metro Cebu, Metro Davao
5.Inform high level PNAC members to formulate appropriate action
6.Formulation of a PNAC Communication and Advocacy Plan
7.Intensify partnership with NGOs and LGUs
8.Conduct a geographic mapping to determine most at risk and vulnerable areas for STI and HIV in the Country

Since 1988, a multi-sectoral approach to HIV and AIDS has been the main mechanism of the country. This means that a systematic interaction between several sectors of the society (including local and international stakeholders – from the line agencies of the government, the civil society, the academe, faith-based groups, and specific sectors of labor, the community of HIV positives, and the international community) are moving to target the multi-faceted concerns of HIV and AIDS prevention and control.

Republic Act 8504 or the AIDS law reinforced this mechanism and formalized these engagements by setting-up structures as part of the national response to HIV and AIDS. Work is continuous at various levels and targeted at specific beneficiaries.

Who else should be involved in addressing the HIV Epidemic?
Intensifying the campaign at various levels of collaboration can help significantly in reinforcing education of the people about prevention and control measures. On the program and services-delivery side, both the national and local government and specific sectors of the Philippine society have mandated duties to fulfill in order to halt and reverse the spread of HIV and AIDS in the country. More importantly, individual responsibility over their health is the most important.

What should Filipinos do in face of this epidemic?
HIV and AIDS is considered as a global pandemic and its impact is both a biomedical as well as a social issue in the country and worldwide. This alarm should be transformed to behavior change and accountability of one’s actions – taking charge of our own sexual health is required from all of us.

Each should take an active part by accessing reliable information from valid sources – such as members of the Philippine National AIDS Council (PNAC) and advocacy and services groups in this line. Becoming more self-aware and responsible in terms of handling sexual relations are also vital to ensure a protected population. The role of family and parental guidance with strong Filipino virtues/values are significant prevention efforts starting from home.

What is the HIV test? How could one avail of the test?
HIV can be detected through the HIV Antibody test - an indirect test measures the response of one’s body to the presence of HIV. This test is given for free in government health service delivery units. There are also private initiatives supporting this line of advocacy.

By Law (R.A. 8504), HIV TESTING IS VOLUNTARY, CONFIDENTIAL AND ANONYMOUS. The test requires pre and post-test counseling. A test may yield negative during the first three (3)- six (6) month after the infection due to the phase of HIV infection where the body has not produced adequate anti-body against the virus to be detected by such test. To this end, anyone who underwent HIV testing must repeat the test after six (6) months. During this period, the person must refrain from practicing any risky behaviours.

There is NO vaccine and NO cure for HIV. Anti-retroviral medication (ARVs) may only slow down the replication of the virus.

Who should be tested for HIV?
Anyone may submit for HIV testing, particularly those who engage in behaviors, such as:
1.Having multiple sex partners;
2.Practice of unprotected penetrative sex (vaginal, anal or oral) without the use of a condom; and/or
3.Injecting drug use and sharing injecting equipment.

What will happen to people who find out they're HIV positive?
An HIV positive individual must take cooperate with support groups and service providers to ensure that his/her health and immediate family and community are well-protected from complications and mitigate the disease’ impact in his/her life. Person Living with HIV and AIDS (PLHIV) must seek assistance from designated health facilities and support groups who can assist the individual and his/her family copes with the disease. The overarching goal of the national response is to aid the PLHIVs continue on with their lives as normal as possible, still be productive, and not to be discriminated against in Philippine society.

Where should people go for more information on HIV and AIDS?
They can access local information online via www.pnac.org.ph; Department of Health, members of PNAC, and support groups and advocates nationwide. They can also call the following numbers for support and related information:

-San Lazaro Hospital 743 3776 – 8 loc 212
-STI and AIDS Cooperative Laboratory (SACCL) 309 9528 – 9 loc 206
-PNAC Secretariat 743 8512
-Department of Health- National STI,HIV/AIDS Prevention and Control Program (NASPCP)
743 8301locals 2350 – 2352

Or the nearest Social Hygiene Clinics, Treatment Hubs, and Information and Counseling Centers by government and civil society organizations.

How could mass media help in addressing the HIV epidemic?
Dissemination of accurate information is vital for the success of the campaign, to demystify the myths and to fight spread of stigma and discrimination surrounding HIV. Behavior change can also be achieved by educating the public and the specific sectors of society and enabling them to take charge of their own health. Collaboration with the specific service delivery units is also vital for the success of the prevention and control program.

A Heart Full of Love

2010-02-02T09:37:00.003+08:00

http://www.aspencountry.com/assets/product_images/product_lib/10000-19999/12386.jpg

I am checked in Citystate Hotel in Malate Manila by my self, earlier than the other participants. I am covering a basic councelling workshop tomorrow. I had this time for myself to contemplate of what I have been doing with my life. While reflecting, it dawned to me that I would not been able to do what I have done if not for my very loving and supportive family by my side. So I decided to send my Mom a text messaged saying good night and I love you.

Not a second passed and my mobile phone rang. It’s my mom. The first thing she told me was that my dad was hoping I’d talk to him, she said he misses me. I need not ask as I have a strong instinct that they saw me on prime time news taking about my self and HIV.

I wanted to explain but she did not give me a chance to talk and continued to talk about how proud she was of me. She wants me to know that they think I am doing the right thing. She emphasized that what I did was a brave thing and that I am able to help make others understand what I am and the other Pozes are going through.

Mom told me that she is so proud that I did not resort to hiding my situation. She said that it’s only right to come out so that I could be a good example to others. She said that there is no reason for me to be afraid in admitting my HIV status. She even told me that she can talk in public and even go on national television with her testimonies as a mother with a Poz son.

When I got the chance to talk, I could not say anything but words of gratitude. I added that my brother, sisters and friends contacted me and gave their love and support as well.

I am overwhelmed by the love and support my mother and my family is giving me. As a compassionate mother, she did not forgot to remind me that by coming out, I am holding a big responsibility, not only to my self but towards others as well.

I could not agree more to what my mother just said. I also could not hold back my tears while I thank her for being such a loving and supportive mother.

Before I put down the phone, I wiped the tears streaming from my eyes and said I love you and expressed my gratitude to her.

I love you mom and I promise that, despite all the time I’ve wasted doing selfish acts, I will make you, dad, and the rest of the family proud of me.

Since I came out on TV (which I thought was stupid when the network did not show my entire face) I have been receiving supportive and loving words from friends and family, people from my previous job and people I have not even met. I want to thank all of you for the insurmountable understanding, support and love you have shown me and other people living with HIV.

I always believed that the world is ready to take me in… to take all of “us” in. All it takes is acceptance and a heart full of love.

HIV, the call center industry & a talking steriotype

2010-01-30T23:00:00.005+08:00

[Image source: http://ocw.jhsph.edu/courses/rietmeijer/homePageImage.jpg]

I was a t work and I wasn't able to see the report on HIV that was aired last January 27, 2010.

The report was delivered in Filipino. Here are some of the content of the story:

Reporter: “Maagang pagkamulat sa internet sabi ng sociologist na si Josephine Aguilar Placido (Univesity of the Santo Tomas). Ito ang pangunahing dahilan bakit pabata na ng pabata and nakikkipag sex. Hindi raw nakakatulong na madali nang maaccess and mga pornographic website.”

Placido: “ang bata, ididiscover nya ang lahat kung ano meron ang computer”

Reporter : “Ayon kay placido, maari ring sisihin ditto ang malalaswang panoorin sa telebisyon at pagrebelde ng tao sa problema sa pamilya. Malapit din sa tukso ang mga nasa call center kung saan ang mga empliyado ay mula high school hanggang college., dahil na rin sa oras ng trabaho.”

Placido: “yung oras ng pagtatrabaho nila ay amalapit sa kung ano mang gusto nilang gawin… na you know.. malapit sa tukso. Bonding moments mo yan sa pamilya mo pero asan ka? Nagtatrabaho ka e. Wala ka sa pamilya mo.”

Reporter : “Paalala pa ni Placido na ang sex ay kinakailangang gawin sa tamang panahon at edad.”

Reporter : “Sa huli ayon pa sa mga experto, pinakamabisa pa ring paigtingin ng mga magulang and pagtuturo ng tamang pagpapahalaga o values sa kanilang mga anak lalo na sa mga kabataan ngayun. Dahil ito ang mga sisilbing pundasyon para makaiwas sila sa ano mang tukso sa kapaligiran.”

I wonder why it is so easy for people to point a finger onto who is at fault, rather than find a constructive way of dealing the issue and finding resolutions.

I was aghast how lacking the information they presented and how they pinpointed the internet, television programs and family as being available or lacking on something which causes the HIV/ AIDS victims getting younger (please forgive me for using the word “victim” for lack of better term).

It’s true that internet and family are some of the factors affecting a person’s drive to discover stuff about sex and everything associated with it. But I feel that the lack of information and proper education is the main cause why people do silly and stupid things… things like engaging in sex at an early stage.

Everything around us, including humanity is evolving. And together with that evolution is the craving for knowledge. Taking this in consideration, I should take my hat off to give a kudos to the internet technology for addressing this desire for knowledge. Not everything in the internet is neurally healthy. Nevertheless, internet is effective in information dissimination and peoples should learn to maximize it. Check this link,http://www.caps.ucsf.edu/pubs/FS/internet.php, as a proof how internet affect HIV prevention.

Television share the same acknowledgment from me. Family on the other hand should not be blamed as far this issue is concerned. I have seen people from different kind of family back ground and one differ from the other in so many ways regard less of the similarity of their family values. I came from a conservative family with a good and strong foundation as far as values are concerned… yet I am living with HIV.

Now let’s go the call center agents. Placido said that call center agents are prone to temptations because they work during the evening. Is she even thinking before coming out with what she just said? Call center agents are not the only one working during the evening. Police officers, Doctors, Nurses, Reporters, advertising employees, 24 hour convenient store staff, public transportation drivers, hotel employees… the list goes on and on. Why pinpoint the call center industry. Sigh… now she just put a dent on her credibility as a thinking doctor.

Lastly, they forgot to mention that our educational system lack capacity to educate young minds as far as reproductive health and sex education is concerned. Stop blaming other sectors and start putting up a good foundation in our educational system. If only someone taught me about sex and copulation back in school and showed me how to properly use a condom, I would have not experimented and discovered it by my self. I would have not turned out to be HIV positive.

Family, education and technology work hand in hand. One cannot work efficiently and effectively in the absence of the other/s.

HIV 101 - HIV test

2010-01-30T21:02:00.005+08:00

[image source: http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:NTIvYrHO15R9CM]

What is an HIV test?

An HIV test shows if someone is infected with HIV, the virus that attacks the body's immune system and causes acquired immune deficiency syndrome, or what is more commonly known as AIDS. There are several different tests that can be used to determine if you are carrying the HIV virus. The first test developed is still the most frequently used for the initial detection of HIV infection: the enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay or as it's more commonly known, the ELISA or EIA.

The ELISA is usually done by drawing blood, usually from a vein in the arm. The process is no more uncomfortable than a typical blood test. For most people, it is not particularly painful and the blood draw is accomplished quickly.

If the ELISA test is negative—meaning that antibodies are not found—the testing is complete. If the ELISA test is positive, the laboratory will want to make sure that it is not a "false positive" result (some molecules in the bloodstream can sometimes cause a false-positive result). First, they may repeat the ELISA test. If it's positive, they will conduct a test called a Western blot. If both the ELISA and the Western blot test yield a positive result, a diagnosis of HIV infection is confirmed and the results are sent back to the healthcare professional who ordered the test.

If you have blood drawn for an HIV test, it can take between one and two weeks to learn the results. If it seems as if you are waiting a long time to learn the results, this in no way means that the result is "positive" and that the laboratory needs more time to conduct additional tests.

When should you get tested and is the test result accurate?

There is a "window period" which is the time it takes the body to produce antibodies after HIV infection has begun. For the vast majority of those who will test positive, antibodies to HIV will develop within 4-6 weeks after exposure. Some will take a little longer to develop antibodies. To make certain that you receive a reliable test result, it's necessary to wait at least three months (13 weeks) after your last possible exposure to the virus before being tested.

Getting tested before three months may result in an unclear result or a false negative. Some testing centers may recommend testing again at six months. More than 99 percent of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within three months (seroconversion is the development of detectable antibodies to HIV in the blood as a result of infection.) It's extremely rare for seroconversion to take more than six months to develop detectable antibodies.

No diagnostic test will ever be 100 percent reliable, but if you test negative at the appropriate time (i.e., 13 weeks after possible exposure to the virus), you can consider that to be a dependable confirmation that you are HIV negative.

What are some of the other tests available?

These are other reliable, government-approved tests which are widely available:

Rapid Testing:

Samples are obtained and analyzed using the ELISA test. The results are usually available within ten to sixty minutes. If the result is positive, a follow-up test is required, usually by drawing blood and sending the sample to a laboratory for Western blot testing. If the result is negative, there is no need for additional testing and the result can be considered conclusive.

Convenient and faster, this method is often used in healthcare settings, particularly where urgency is an issue such as with someone who is pregnant or about to give birth. Because it provides a result so quickly, this is an increasingly popular method for testing.

Several rapid HIV tests have been approved for the FDA, all of which can only be performed by healthcare providers (they cannot be purchased directly by consumers). The approved tests are the Oraquick Rapid HIV Antibody Test (using oral fluid or blood samples), the Oraquick Rapid HIV-1/2 Antibody Test (tests for both HIV-1 and HIV-2 using blood samples), the Clearview Complete HIV 1/2 and HIV 1/2 STAT-PAK (a blood sample is used to check for antibodies to HIV-1 and HIV-2), the Reveal Rapid HIV-1 Antibody Test (requires a blood sample), and the Uni-Gold Recombigen HIV Test (requires a blood sample). While the time to conduct each of these tests do vary, they all yield results in less than an hour. If you are interested in any of these tests, you should call your healthcare provider to see if he or she conducts these tests and, if not, where you may go to have one done.

The collection of oral fluids to look for HIV antibodies using the Oraquick Rapid HIV Antibody Test may not be as accurate as the other rapid assays that use blood samples. There were reports starting in 2005 that some testing sites in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and New York City had higher rates of false-positive test results than usual, meaning that the Oraquick Rapid HIV Antibody Test using oral fluids (but not blood samples) falsely detected antibodies in people who were not infected with HIV. Most—though not all—of these sites later found that there were problems with how the tests were being handled by providers. However, the test is still highly accurate in terms of detecting antibodies in people who are infected with HIV (it has an extremely low false-negative rate).

It's very important to understand these new tests do not change the length of time you have to wait after a possible exposure to HIV to get a reliable result. You still need to wait three months (13 weeks), to allow time for antibodies to become detectable in the blood for an accurate result.

The Oraquick, Clearview, Reveal Rapid, and Uni-Gold Recombigen tests are not the only rapid tests available. Some hospitals, clinics and a few private doctors' offices have their own in-house rapid tests, which are also completely reliable.

Home Sample Collection Tests:

Using a provided safety lancet, you will need to prick your fingertip and place drops of blood on the blood specimen card included in the test kit. You only need enough blood to fill a circle the size of a dime. The kit will contain a unique identifying number that you'll need to have handy to learn the results. The blood specimen card is then sent to a designated laboratory where it is tested using the ELISA/Western blot tests. The results are usually available within three to seven days and are accessed by calling a telephone number provided by the laboratory. The results, along with counseling, are provided by trained counselors over the telephone.

Oral Fluid Test:

A device is used to collect oral (mouth) fluid (i.e. saliva). Oral fluids can contain antibodies to HIV, which can be detected using the ELISA and Western blot tests. The Oraquick Rapid HIV Antibody Test, which has a high degree of accuracy and produces results in less than an hour, can be conducted using oral specimens. Oral specimens are usually collected using the OraSure HIV-1 Oral Specimen Collection Device, which can then be tested using the rapid assay or traditional testing procedures. Because oral specimen collection is so easy and comfortable to accomplish, this test is often used in clinics, doctors' offices, hospitals, and school-based and university health centers.

Urine-Based Test:

A urine sample, collected in a cup, is used for the ELISA/Western blot tests. The results of this noninvasive and non-technical method can be obtained at a return visit, typically in one to two weeks. It's commonly used in community-based and outreach settings, adolescent, school and university-based settings. Anyone with a positive urine result must have a confirmatory blood test.

I can't wait 13 weeks to find out! Are there other options?

There are tests that can look for the virus—not antibodies—in the blood. Because the virus becomes detectable in the blood much sooner after infection than antibodies, these tests are an option for people who simply can't wait 13 weeks to find out the results of standard ELISA/Western blot testing. And because there has been some encouraging research indicating that people who diagnose their HIV infection early—meaning the first weeks after infection, before antibodies become detectable—can protect their immune systems by starting treatment early, these tests are proving to be very useful for people who recently engaged in a high-risk activity (e.g., receptive anal sex without a condom) and fear they might have been infected.

These tests look for fragments of HIV, either floating around freely in the bloodstream or inside cells in the bloodstream. Some tests—known as qualitative tests—yield a "positive" or "negative" result, meaning that the virus was or wasn't found (GenProbe's Aptima HIV-1 RNA Qualitative Assay is the only test approved for this purpose). Other tests—known as quantitative tests—yield a "viral load" result, meaning the amount of virus in a sample of blood. Roche's quantitative Amplicor HIV Monitor Test is frequently used by doctors and research centers but is not specifically approved for this purpose. It is only approved to monitor to people who are known to be infected with HIV, particularly to find out if their treatment is working properly.

These tests are highly sensitive, meaning that they can detect even the tiniest amounts of HIV in a blood sample. However, they are not always specific, meaning that they can sometimes yield a false-positive result. In turn, follow-up testing using standard ELISA/Western blot assays, is typically recommended.

These tests must be ordered by a health care provider, meaning that you should call your doctor if you think you may have recently been exposed to the virus and would like one of these tests. It's also important to keep in mind that these tests can be expensive and are not usually covered by insurance for diagnostic purposes.

Aren't there two different kinds of HIV? How do I know what I should be tested for?

The two known types of HIV are HIV-1 and HIV-2. In the United States and Europe, the overwhelming majority of HIV cases involve HIV-1. HIV-2 infections are predominantly found in West African nations. The first case of HIV-2 was discovered in the United States in 1987. Since then only 79 people with HIV-2 infections have been identified in the United States. While the CDC does not recommend routine screening for HIV-2, when someone tests for HIV-1 using ELISA/Western blot tests, there is a 60% to 90% chance that HIV-2 will be detected if it is present.

Not every test will automatically include testing for HIV-2. Anyone who thinks there's a possibility they have been exposed to HIV-2 and/or any of HIV's more rare subtypes should mention this when being tested. Among those for whom HIV-2 testing is indicated are those with sex partners from a country where HIV-2 is prevalent or people with an illness that indicate underlying HIV infection, such as an opportunistic infection, but whose HIV-1 test result was negative.

What about subtypes of HIV?

Thus far, 11 distinct subtypes, also known as "clades" or "genotypes," have been recognized of HIV-1. More than 96% of the HIV-1 infections in the United States and Europe are caused by subtype B. Subtypes B and F predominate in South America and Asia. Subtypes A through H of HIV-1 are found in Africa, along with HIV-2 in sub-Saharan Africa.

The ELISA/Western blot tests can detect antibodies to all HIV-1 subtypes. Viral load tests can also detect and quantify subtypes of HIV-1. The viral load tests can also detect and quantify HIV-2.

Should I get tested for HIV?

Getting tested is recommended if any of the following apply to you:

You should be tested at least once a year if you are sexually active, particularly with three or more sexual partners in the last 12 months.

You had a possible exposure to HIV either through vaginal or anal intercourse without the use of a condom or have been involved in any other risky sexual behavior.

You have shared/reused needles or syringes to inject drugs (including steroids), or for body piercing, tattooing, or any other reason.

You are a health care worker who's had a work-related accident such as direct exposure to blood or have been stuck with a needle or other object.

You are uncertain about your sexual partner's risk behaviors or your sexual partner has tested positive for HIV.

You are pregnant or are considering becoming pregnant.

You have had certain illnesses including TB (tuberculosis), or an STI (sexually transmitted infection), such as syphilis or herpes.

You have any reason to be uncertain about your HIV status.

If you have engaged in behaviors that have put you at risk of becoming infected with HIV, you may also have been exposed to other STIs. Some of these can be quite serious and require immediate treatment, such as syphilis or hepatitis C virus (HCV). If you are being tested for HIV you should also discuss with your provider whether you are at risk and should be tested for these STIs.

[source: http://www.poz.com]

HIV 101 – A personal thought from a guy living with HIV

2010-01-30T20:52:00.004+08:00

ABS CBN’s TV Patrol aired a report last January 27, 2010. The televised report highlighted that there is a concerning growth on the number of HIV cases and that most of the people coming out as positive comes from the call center industry. I wasn’t able to see the news first hand since I was busy documenting an orientation on Rapid Access to Vulnerability on HIV in Davao City. This news came to me through a text message from a good friend who I used to work with in a call center in Manila.

As an advocate against HIV/ AIDS, I was shocked how irresponsible the above mentioned news network released the report. I learned later on the real story of the interview because I was able to speak with the doctor that was interviewed. She mentioned that the HIV cases are growing and that the age of those getting infected is becoming younger. She also admitted that she mentioned that some of the people tested positive for HIV are yuppies. Then the reported insulated something like…yuppies, like people from the call center? Talk about putting words in one’s mouth. The network edited and aired the interview and made it sound like the call center industry has a big contribution on the growing number of HIV cases – which is not the case!

I knew that statement would cause havoc and stir people to react. And it did. I received a lot of text messages from my ex-call center team mates. I heard reactions from the participants of the activity I am covering and people from different HIV/ AIDS NGO and support group.

I received a phone call from a friend asking if I am willing to be interviewed regarding the initial report the news network aired. I said yes. I was given the Zen Hernandez’s (reporter) mobile number and I contacted her. She said they are making a case study on people living with HIV, as to how they are coping up with their status and what are the supports they need. But I was under the impression that they are making an new report to neutralize the impression they made on HIV vs. the call center industry.

Morning of January 29, 2010. I just arrived from my Davao trip the evening before and haven’t had enough sleep, I met with the reporter and was interviewed. The interview was long and substantial. I was asked personal questions. I made sure to highlight the fact that the growing number of HIV cases has no direct relationship to the call center industry.

People don’t get infected with HIV because they work in call centers. Neither they get it because they work nights nor because they have frequent access to internet (net service used for business in call centers). People get infected with HIV because they are careless, irresponsible and ignorant.

Police, Doctors, hotel employees, convenient store staff, and others… even reporters and people in the mass media business work nights so it is unfair for the call center industry to be tagged as a big contributor on the growth of the “numbers”.

I can talk about the experiences I have with ignorant, prejudice and discriminatory people. About how many loving people work to help others. Or I can just start discussing HIV 101. But that’s not what I want to do right now. What I want is for everyone to stop and contemplate. What if you’re the one who’s infected with the “H” virus? How do you want to be treated? How do you want to be perceived? Let me know so I would know if your needs and wants are different from mine… but I am supposing we all have the same wishes.

I wish for many things but hope for one thing… that I would be able to help make this world a safe, healthy and better place to live in… for all of us.

HIV 101 - What are the symptoms of HIV?

2010-01-21T10:38:00.004+08:00

[image source: http://www.nataliedee.com/081306/oh-no-its-sick.jpg]

In the period immediately after infection has taken place there aren't any specific symptoms. Within two to four weeks after exposure to HIV, a person might have flu-like symptoms such as fever, swollen glands, muscle aches, diarrhea, fatigue or rash. In rare instances they may occur within a few days after the exposure has taken place.

These symptoms usually go away after a week or two. Often, if they occur at all, they're so mild they're hardly noticeable, although for some people they are severe enough to warrant calling a doctor.

It's important to keep in mind these symptoms are almost identical to those of many other illnesses. That's why testing is so important. Very often people who have the symptoms are worrying unnecessarily. Only by taking the HIV test can someone reliably know their HIV status. Everything else is just guessing and HIV is too important and issue to merely guess about. [source: http://www.poz.com]

Just to summarize, following are the main HIV symptoms:

1. Rapid weight loss

2. Dry cough

3. Recurring fever or profuse night sweats

4. Profound and unexplained fatigue

5. Wollen lymph glands in the armpits, groin, or neck

6. Diarrhea that lasts for more than a week

7. White spots or unusual blemishes on the tongue, in the mouth, or in the throat

8. Pneumonia

9. Red, brown, pink, or purplish blotches on or under the skin or inside the mouth, nose, or eyelids

10. Memory loss, depression, and other neurological disorders.

Please don't rely on HIV symptoms to know whether or not you are infected with HIV. There is a possibility that you don't show any of the HIV symptoms but can still be infected with HIV/AIDS.[source: http://www.hivsymptomsonline.com]

Since there is no known cure for HIV yet, it is better to get tested soon... early detection and treatment of HIV is better than cure.

A Mother’s Advice

2010-01-18T14:09:00.005+08:00

[Image source: http://www.crmcwy.org/uploadedimages/Additional_Services/Women_and_Children/wc_mother-baby-unit.jpg]

I am one of those Poz who are lucky to have a very supportive family. My parents never asked me how I got infected nor did they condemn me for being HIV positive.

I remembered how my mom uttered, back in the hospital when I told them about my condition… “Wag na ating tanungin kung pano nya nakuha, basta suportahan nalang natin sya” (Let’s not ask him how he got it instead let’s just support him.)

We’re Mormons and you can only imagine how conservative my family values are… nevertheless we’ve always maintained a liberal thinking.

My parents have a very good foundation as far as church values are concerned. They never fail to remind us of how we need to work on our life and our salvation. But please don’t get me wrong… my parents are very respectful when it comes to preaching their kids church stuff. Now you know where my values are coming from.

I paid my parents a visit last night. As usual my mom gave her reminder on how I need to set my priorities and how I need to work on the spiritual aspect of my life to be able to go back to heaven and be with my family and God. As a respectful son, I listened to my mom and what she had to say… She advised me to go to my bishop and advised me to confess my sins and work on my deliverance.

I asked my mom, if I do that, will my HIV go away? Will I get cured?

She paused and said, "no, but it will give you a chance to repent and start a new life."

I asked her, does the church accept HIV positive people? She answered, the church accept everyone who is willing. The church does not discriminate anyone.

I asked her, are you ready if people find out that your son is HIV positive?

Then she uttered one of the most loving answers she said so far…

“When I found out that you’re HIV positive, I got sad… I cried. But now I know I am ready. I always pray for you and write your name when I visit the temple. What other people will say is immaterial because they can’t say anything to harm us.”

She added, “Sometimes I wished I can turn back time and transform you into a baby once more… then I would be able to change the mistakes that was committed. But I can’t do that. Things happen for a reason and there is learning on everything that comes to pass.”

I can’t help my self from crying.

I had a long, heart to heart conversation with my mother and I felt her love and sincerity.

I have a lot of regrets in my life but my mother told me that we all make mistakes and it’s only fair to accept those mistakes, learn from them and move on and make sure we do better going forward.

She asked if she can give me a hug and asked me if it’s not too late. I said “no mom, it’s not too late.”

She gave me a very comforting embrace. I love my mother and I am thankful that she remained strong and wise despite her weaknesses.

She said she loves me and I said the same in return.

I never felt very open towards my mother about my feelings... but this time, I learned that it is very important to keep an open communication with your parents and other family members. Whatever we make of ourselves, our family will always be our family and it is only right that we show them we love them.

HIV 101 - The HIV Life Cycle

2010-01-17T15:13:00.016+08:00

[image source: http://i.livescience.com/images/060104_hiv_virus_02.jpg]

INTRODUCTION

In order for viruses to reproduce, they must infect a cell. Viruses are not technically alive: they are sort of like a brain with no body. In order to make new viruses, they must hi-jack a cell, and use it to make new viruses. Just as your body is constantly making new skin cells, or new blood cells, each cell often makes new proteins in order to stay alive and to reproduce itself. Viruses hide their own DNA in the DNA of the cell, and then, when the cell tries to make new proteins, it accidentally makes new viruses as well. HIV mostly infects cells in the immune system.

Infection: Several different kinds of cells have proteins on their surface that are called CD4 receptors. HIV searches for cells that have CD4 surface receptors, because this particular protein enables the virus to bind to the cell. Although HIV infects a variety of cells, its main target is the T4-lymphocyte (also called the "T-helper cell"), a kind of white blood cell that has lots of CD4 receptors. The T4-cell is responsible for warning your immune system that there are invaders in the system.

Replication: Once HIV binds to a cell, it hides HIV DNA inside the cell's DNA: this turns the cell into a sort of HIV factory.

**********

DEFINITION

There are a few things you need to know in order to understand HIV infection.

DNA: DNA is like the "blueprint" for building living cells.

Enzymes: Enzymes are like the workers of a cell. They build new proteins, transport materials around the cell, and carry out other important cellular functions.

RNA: RNA is like the construction boss. Cells use RNA to tell enzymes how to build a specific part of a cell. To make a new protein, enzymes will copy a specific part of the DNA into a piece of RNA. This RNA is then used by other enzymes to build a new protein or enzyme.

Proteins: The building blocks that are used to make living things.

Nucleus: A small package inside the cell where the genetic material is kept.

***********

The HIV Life Cycle

Step 1

A virus consists of an outer envelope of protein, fat and sugar wrapped around a set of genes (in the case of HIV, genetic information is carried as RNA instead of DNA) and special enzymes.

HIV has proteins on its envelope that are strongly attracted to the CD4+ surface receptor on the outside of the T4-cell. When HIV binds to a CD4+ surface receptor, it activates other proteins on the cell's surface, allowing the HIV envelope to fuse to the outside of the cell.

Entry can be blocked by entry inhibitors.

Step 2: Reverse Transcription

HIV's genes are carried in two strands of RNA, while the genetic material of human cells is found in DNA. In order for the virus to infect the cell, a process called "reverse transcription" makes a DNA copy of the virus's RNA.

After the binding process, the viral capsid (the inside of the virus which contains the RNA and important enzymes) is released into the host cell. A viral enzyme called reverse transcriptase makes a DNA copy of the RNA. This new DNA is called "proviral DNA."

Reverse transcription can be blocked by: Nucleoside Reverse Transcriptase Inhibitors (NRTIs), and Non-Nucleoside Reverse Transcriptase Inhibitors (NNRTIs).

Step 3: Integration

The HIV DNA is then carried to the cell's nucleus (center), where the cell's DNA is kept. Then, another viral enzyme called integrase hides the proviral DNA into the cell's DNA. Then, when the cell tries to make new proteins, it can accidentally make new HIVs.

Integration can be blocked by integrase inhibitors.

Step 4: Transcription

Once HIV's genetic material is inside the cell's nucleus, it directs the cell to produce new HIV.

The strands of viral DNA in the nucleus separate, and special enzymes create a complementary strand of genetic material called messenger RNA or mRNA (instructions for making new HIV).

Transcription can be blocked by antisense antivirals or transcription inhibitors (TIs), new classes of drugs that are in the earliest stage of research.

Step 5: Translation

The mRNA carries instructions for making new viral proteins from the nucleus to a kind of workshop in the cell. Each section of the mRNA corresponds to a protein building block for making a part of HIV.

As each mRNA strand is processed, a corresponding string of proteins is made. This process continues until the mRNA strand has been transformed or "translated" into new viral proteins needed to make a new virus.

Step 6: Viral assembly and maturation

The final step begins with the assembly of new virus. Long strings of proteins are cut up by a viral enzyme called protease into smaller proteins. These proteins serve a variety of functions; some become structural elements of new HIV, while others become enzymes, such as reverse transcriptase.

Once the new viral particles are assembled, they bud off the host cell, and create a new virus. The virus then enters the maturation stage, which involves the processing of viral proteins. Maturation is the final step in the process and is required for the virus to become infectious.

With viral assembly and maturation completed, the virus is able to infect new cells. Each infected cell can produce a lot of new viruses.

Viral assembly can be blocked by Protease Inhibitors (PIs). Maturation, a new target of companies developing anti-HIV drugs, may be blocked using Maturation Inhibitors.

**********

Here’s a picture of HIV budding from a T-cell,

colored scanning electron micrograph of a single HIV budding from a T4 cell

colored scanning electron micrograph of a T4 cell (green) infected with HIV (red).
© NIBSC/Science Photo Library

[Source: http://www.aidsmeds.com]

oPOZsite attracts

2010-01-16T21:13:00.004+08:00

http://www.kids-toy-online.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/2009-hot-toy.jpg

I always want to do what is good and right and wished so hard that people would see my good example. I live by example, hoping that people would do the same and make the community we live in a safe, healthy and better environment for everyone.

But people remember past mistakes. Even the ones that has expired and already lost its relevance. Most often than not, people find it hard to move on and the expired incidents always remain a factor in their future judgements towards people and situation. And yes, they still cling even to those that has expired and already lost its relevance.

I am part of this Poz group that is being established that aims to help unify all the other Poz support groups and bridge the gaps. Majority of the support groups are very supportive, but there are those who oppose for different reasons.

The differing group are literally “positive” but exude a very negative outlook. Some have issues with other members, others have personal issues and some, a number is simply reacting because of lack of information and knowledge and of course, there are those who cling to the out dated, immaterial matters.

I’d like to go into details about this but my emotions are getting in the way. Nevertheless, I am hoping that I thing will turn out alright… it always does.

For now, I am banking on positive thinking and my untainted aspiration.

As the text message I received this morning said: “Positive thinkers see the invisible, touch the intangible and achieve the impossible."

HIV on the rise (A repost)

2010-01-07T08:39:00.007+08:00

[original image source: http://e-shuushuu.net/common/image/status/repost.png]

Health Update: HIV on the rise

By HEIZEL L. MAINAR

December 28, 2009, 6:04pm

As many Filipinos prepare to celebrate the unfolding of the year with a bang, another boom is on the offing, that is, the rapid and alarming boom of HIV infections in the country—the Department of Health’s (DoH) Registry on HIV and AIDS shows the rise in the incidence whereas 395 new HIV documented cases from January to September of last year increased to 549 for the same time period this year.

However, Joshua Formentera, President and CEO of Positive Action Foundation Philippines, Inc. (PAFPI) shares that a series of intervention done last November 22, 27 and December 6 during the gay pride march yielded a result that is alarming and, as Formentera puts it, shocking.

The intervention was composed of doctors, nurses, people from the non-government organizations (NGOs) and private individuals who volunteered and set up a booth in places where people often go to party and have a good time. This time, the volunteers chose Malate in Manila for the free counseling and screening to party-goers who were mostly composed of men having sex with men or now called in a politically correct manner MSMs.

Using a rapid test kit, volunteers would be able to determine if the examined blood is reactive or non-reactive and as Formentera explains, “If the result (of the screening) shows reactive, there is something wrong with the blood but it does not necessarily meant that the person tested have HIV,” but adds, “Although there is no confirmatory testing yet, rapid testing (according to medical research) shows 99 percent accuracy.”

He says that the November 22nd intervention results to approximately 70 MSMs who availed of the voluntary counseling and testing (VCT) and 13 were found reactive. The following week, November 27, 40 MSMs availed of the VCT and 5 were found reactive while during the gay pride march last December 6, out of 130, 13 were found reactive.

And he recounts that those who availed of the VCTs were initially scared, “Makikita mo sa mukha eh, there is a sort of panic but then again, once these people consumed alcohol, their fear disappeared, a kind of macho image.”

The alarming result is not yet a part of the DoH Registry and according to him, the number could increase 500 times over for the coming years. “In 2007, there is a ratio of 1 to every 1,000 (that is 1 HIV positive in 1,000 who were tested), now ratio is 5 to 1,000… and that is very alarming and looking at the sustainability of treatment for ARV, it is really not enough because there is no large chunk of budget allocated for the treatment.”

He explains further that those were found reactive were in Manila alone, “What if this was conducted in Quezon City, Makati and other metropolitan areas around the country?” he asks flabbergasted. Currently, he explains that there is a paradigm shift in the practice of intervention for if before, NGOs and other agencies concerned with the decrease and management of HIV observes “go, come here to us” attitude, now, they are the ones who go to the vulnerable groups of most at risk populations like MSMs. Also, he says that before, most of those recorded HIV incidence came from the sector of migrant workers but since the turn of 2009, HIV infections spread to the key population wherein everyone could be at risk.

As an answer to this distressing increase, Formentera explains that “Education is fundamental in achieving our goals like addressing the stigma and discrimination (associated with HIV/AIDS) but also to prevent infection in the country.” However, he reveals that other government agencies should be proactive in the issues of HIV for DoH is just one agency and needed other agencies to fully implement the programs on HIV and AIDS.

He explains that information should be dynamic and should be disseminated from national to local and vice versa. “If failure to educate the young people especially the area of the Department of Education (DepED) there will be a failure in putting in place the study of HIV and AIDS in the curriculum,” and notes that those new HIV cases now belongs to the average age group of 19 to 24, the more reason for DepED to act since the agency is a part of the Philippine National AIDS Council (PNAC).

“The DoH has done many things already but they should not be left alone. They should be supported from different angles by other government agencies and our society, community, political leaders and church.” He explains that the church plays an important role in giving out information and encouraging people to work together for he concludes, “HIV is everybody’s business.”

Currently, PAFPI and seven other NGOs like Pinoy Plus Association (PPA), Empowered of Iloilo, Mindanao Advocates, Crossbreeds of Bacolod, Cebu Plus and Babae Plus formed the National Association for Filipinos Living with HIV and AIDS (NAFWA) in the Philippines. This is to ensure that national programs are cascaded to the grass root level and will hasten the programs on advocacy and education.

[article source: http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/236059/health-update-hiv-rise]

I am not sure if I am ready for the new year

2010-01-02T10:25:00.002+08:00

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/010208/happy-new-year-2008.gif

I had dinner with my family at my mom’s new house in Cavite. I drove to Gib’s condo just in time to see the fireworks, viewed from the rooftop. I visited Pol at work first day of the year and spent the rest of the day with friends, made tofu and salad for dinner and watched Final Destination on DVD (what a perfect title to start the year...err... end it).

I went on line last night and opened google. It was written with fireworks. Then this morning it went back to its original blue-red-yellow-green color scheme. Then I realized it’s the new already.

Then I felt sad… I am not sure if I am ready for the new year.

… to be continued.

MSM are the leading men

2009-12-13T13:21:00.005+08:00

http://www.sf360.org/images/77.jpg

Hi friends and friends of freinds,

I am sharing and re-posting the 2009 IHBSS data presented by the Department of Health.

Fact is, HIV infections have increased by at least 400% among MSM in the Philippines. Hence, MSM are the leading men.

http://www.pnac.org.ph/uploads/documents/presentations/This%20is%20it!%20-%2011dec09.pdf

GET TESTED. STAY SAFE. BE SAFE ALWAYS.

Busy times

2009-12-06T10:24:00.009+08:00

[Image source: http://geekandpoke.typepad.com/geekandpoke/images/2008/04/12/busytimes.jpg]

Sigh… I have not posted anything (10 days after my birthday to be exact). I’ve been busy with a lot of things lately. I’ve have a lot of stuff in my mind that I should put into writing but, lately, I just can’t seem to find time to do it. I don’t bring my laptop with me (ang laki kasi.. I should invest on a Mac book na) kaya I write my thoughts on paper. But when I get hold of a pen a paper, all my mind and my hand want to do it doodle and draw. LOL.

Anyway, here are my activities for the past week and the coming days:

1. Rapid (test) screening for HIV – Venue: in front of Bed bar in Malate. The Social Hygiene Clinic is still at it so if your keen to learning your HIV status, feel free to drop by. The screening if for free (I used the word “free” twice).

2. National Consensus and Consultative Meeting for people living with HIV (NCCM: November 29 – December 1, 2009).

3. Visit RITM for CD4 count. – Nope not me. I had to post as a tour guide for some Poz from Davao and accompany them to RITM to get their CD4 count.

4. Photo shoot with Nicolo Cosme for Headshot Clinic’s (HSC) World AIDS day photography exhibit. – You heard it. I am gonna be a part of HSC’s Wold AIDS day portfolio for 2009. Nic mentioned that opening will be on December 9, 2009 at Greenbelt Makati. But please see HSC’s website for exhibition date details.

5. Speaking engagements in Santiago, Isabela. – I will be visiting Santiago Isabela from December 7-9, 2009. It’s my first time to go there and I heard that it’s 7-8 hours travel by bus. They are celebrating World AIDS there and I am part of the speaking entourage. They also invited me to take part in the lecture in one of the Universities there.

6. Voluntary Counseling and Testing - December 10, 2009 in Pedro Gil, Manila @ Kimberly Hotel

7. Christmas parties - Dec11 in RITM/ Dec12 (afternoon) in Tagaytay with Cavite HIV Task Force/ Dec12 (evening) with UPCFA friends.

8. Davao getaway – I am visiting Davao for the first time and check out how liveable the southern metro is. I am visiting second week of January 2010.

9. And of course I have to work - Call boy (call center boy), grave yard shift during weekdays.

Being HIV Poz was a blessing in disguise. My eat-drink-and-be-merry-party-till-you-drop paradigm was transformed into an I-want-world-peace-and-make-this-world-a-better-place-to-live-in life.

Living with HIV gave me a purpose, found my self new friends and gave me a meaningful life. I am building my life and living it… and enjoying the busyness it brings.

Well this is me. I’ve always appreciated everything that life gives me. As for you… get tested, be safe, stay safe and use protection.

It’s a holiday coz it’s my birthday today!

2009-11-26T00:38:00.005+08:00

I just turned 34 today.

I am so thankful for everything that came to pass the previous year. All the blessings I recieved, all the friendship I've made. all the learning I acquired that helped improved my life in general.

I wish for stronger family ties and long lasting friendships.

I wish for wisdom that I may be able to be prudent and tact with all my dealings in life.

I wish for courage and perseverance so that I will be able to face, head high, all the challenges bestowed upon me.

I wish for patience and humility so that I will be able to appreciate others and live by example.

Lastly, I wish for better health that I may be able to do more things to make this world a better place to live in.

It’s a holiday coz it’s my birthday today!

Another one of those dreams

2009-11-22T12:33:00.003+08:00

http://napwa.org.au/files/images/2009_3_sleep.preview.jpg

After my escapade in Malate last night, I was so exhausted and went to bed without taking a shower.

I had another one of those dreams. I am a believer of dreams. I know when I am dreaming and i can usually control my dreams. But this sort of dreams come to me when I least expect them and strangely, even if i am conscious that I am dreaming, I tend to be passive in dreams such as this. I think it's because I am aware that this sort of dream is telling me something and I am just letting it unfold to see the conclusion and the revelation it's giving me.

I don’t remember the details of my dream but I clearly remember the presence of a big dying dog, a murky river and a coffin. Sounds morbid? Doesn't seem like it when you read the interpretations below.

In my dream, the river was going up with its chocolate brown water. I saw a really, really big dog lying on the shore and was getting washed away by the rising water. Then on the river I saw a casket. There was a man sitting inside the casket and he was asking for help. I tried pulling him out but the water was too high and I couldn’t reach him with my stretched arm.

I am not sure what this dream should mean but I sense its relevance.

--------------------

To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success. Alternatively, it indicates a skill that you have ignored or forgotten.

If the dog is dead or dying, then it indicates a loss of a good friend. Alternatively, it represents a deterioration of your instincts. Also consider common notions associated with the word dog, such as loyalty ("man's best friend") and to be "treated like a dog".

To see a raging river, signifies that your life is feeling out of control. If the river is muddy, then it indicates turmoil, tumultuous times and jealousy in your life.

To see a coffin in your dream, symbolizes the womb. It also signifies your thoughts and fears of death. Alternatively, the coffin represents ideas and habits that you are no longer of use and can be buried.

To see a body in a coffin, signifies that you are going through a period of depression. You may feel confined, restricted and that you are lacking personal freedom. There may be a dead or decaying situation or issue in your life that needs to be addressed. It is time to end this situation or relationship.

[Source: http://www.dreammoods.com/]

This is one of the reasons why I don't like dating

2009-11-22T12:08:00.005+08:00

http://www.howtogetyourgirlback.org/wp-content/howtogetyourgirlback_files/break%20up%20pain.jpg

I woke this morning feeling poignant. Today is the first time I felt pessimistically different because I am a Poz.

I met S last Saturday at a friend’s house warming party.

He is very sociable. He introduced himself. The moment I held his firm handshake, I knew he is my type. He has a firm grip. He’s ideally tall, have a good build, smart, friendly and have a really nice smile (I am a sucker for guys with nice smile). He has soft lips and kiss really well. And to top it all, our birthdays are three days apart and our animal signs are compatible.

We chatted the entire evening. We talked pretty much about work, likes and dislikes, relationships and life issues. And I can’t remember how many times he asked me why I’ve been single for so long.

I told him I like him and he said he like me too.

But I was too guarded that evening. Aside from being single and Poz for a few years now, I don’t want to take advantage of someone who just got out of a relationship. Yes, S broke up with his partner (who cheated on him) a week ago.

That night was also the first time I felt apprehensive telling someone my HIV status. But I promised my self I will tell S about it the first chance I get.

Anyway, S and I met the next day. He was out to shop and have a haircut.

I really want to see him again so despite being wasted from the previous night, I asked him if he want to meet. He said yes.

My heart never felt so excited in years.

I arrived around 5pm and we spent the rest of the day together. We strolled and chatted.

(Darn! I am never good with narrating stories. I really wish I can properly compose and narrate everything that happened in details)

Anyway, we met up with his friend later that evening.

I have to be in Malate by midnight to help friends with their HIV rapid testing activity. I wanted to stay longer with S so I decided to invite them. It was a coincidence because S was convincing his best friend to get tested. So they agreed to go with me.

I felt anxious because I know S is a smart guy and I am sure he will figure out that I am a Poz even before I tell him. Well… I’ve been insinuating about my status anyway and I am deliberately evading his questions whenever he asks about my HIV status. He was asking about it since I told him that I am into the HIV/ AIDS advocacy.

Another thing that adds up to my anxiety is that, I like S so much that I am afraid that he will stop seeing me if I tell him my status.

Since S just got a haircut, he needed to shower. The three of us went to his place.

He shared his break up story on our way to is place. I felt for S. I know how it feels to get cheated on. And I felt sorry for his ex boyfriend for being stupid and not seeing how special S is.

We arrived at Malate a few minutes before midnight. We all got tested.

S was curious about my result. He asked several times and I evaded the inquiry the same number of times he asked. I felt he already knew and just needed to confirm. I also felt stupid for lying the first time he asked me. I told him I haven’t gotten my self tested yet. It was such a lame answer. I am never a good liar.

I can’t remember exactly how I started telling him the truth. The only clear thing I remember is his sweet smile, his firm chest and his sincere hug. I wanted to cry but felt that I need to look ok. Deep inside I wasn’t, because I see in his face and I feel his aura that he is not ready for me, well not me per se but my status. My thoughts were reinforced when I asked him if he still want to date a Poz guy.

Call it corny, call me mushy but I felt crushed. But there’s no where is to go but forward. I just have to accept my reality.

I remembered what my ex boy friend told me when I came out to him. He said that he used to date a Poz guy. And that sometimes he feels more comfortable dating Poz guys since they are sure of their HIV status compared to those guys who have not gotten tested and claim that they are negative. And with this he knows how to protect himself and the other person when the time come they need to physically share their emotions. I hope people realize the truth in this thinking.

S and I still keep in touch, but I don’t know until when. Nonetheless I am still hopeful for the best.

A a very good friend told me...I shouldn't expect someone to be so open and welcoming about a very sensitive issue. Only time will tell if his sentiments will unfold in a most agreeable form.

I still believe in true love. I still believe in long term (even life-time) relationships. I still believe that all people are naturally good and I still believe that there’s that “one” special person for me…

Right now I am hoping it’s S.

I lost my mobile phone today

2009-11-16T23:51:00.005+08:00

[image source:

http://www.telecombeacon.com/techbuzz/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/lost_cell_phone.jpg

I lost my phone in the gym today. Well… I didn’t really lose it since I know exactly where I last placed it. It was stolen, I should say.

I didn’t extremely feel sad since it’s just a phone but it’s just unfortunate that I had to lose it now that I don’t have enough money to buy a new phone. Additionally, I lost all of my contacts… most of which are friends, family and professional contacts. Sigh.

My birthday is coming (26th of November) and it's just swell that I had to lose my unit. I've been using that phone for a couple of years now and it's so efficient. It hasn't turned me down... not even once. Oh well, another time to move on.

So, if you’re one of my contacts, Please send me a message with your name and mobile (contact) number.

P.S.

Who would be generous enough to give me a phone for my birthday? I won’t mind if it’s a second hand unit :-D

“Elmo Loves You”

2009-11-11T20:10:00.003+08:00

I did this drawings during my training class. I drew the image copying it from an image I found online.

We were made to listen to a lot of tutorial and lectures... I needed to keep my brain awake and attentive. This is what I ended up with.

Always remember, Elmo loves you… and I do too.

FREE RAPID HIV TESTING!!!

2009-11-09T21:10:00.007+08:00

http://www.gobizkorea.com/att/cat/standardia/tp_html/img/standardia_cat_1_small_img_2.jpg

The Manila Social Hygiene Clinic in Partnership with the UNICEF and the Global Fund Round 6 is once again announcing the availability of the RT Kits, or the Rapid Testing Kits which show results in as quick as 10mins. The RT kits is 99% accurate and is as reliable as the ELISA or the Serodia test. The good thing about this RT is, it’s quicker as compared to the latter two tests.

If the result from the RT comes out positive, an extraction of the whole blood sample will be requested from the patient and shall then be submitted for confirmation to SACCL (San Lazaro Hospital). The sample will then undergo 3 tests, ELISA, Serodia and the Western Blot for confirmation.

The procedure will be the same, as the person will undergo HIV 101, pre-test counselling, extraction, post-test counselling and referral to treatment hub (if found out positive). Thus, the RT does not compromise the original design of Voluntary Confidential Counselling and Testing.

Curious about the confidentiality of the testing? Worry not, because the Philippine Law specifically the Republic Act 8504 or known as the Philippine AIDS Prevention and Control Act of 1998, states that:

"Article 1, SECTION 18. Anonymous HIV Testing - The State shall provide a mechanism for anonymous HIV testing and shall guarantee anonymous HIV testing and shall guarantee anonymity and medical confidentiality in the conduct of such test.”

And is further assured in this portion...

"ARTICLE VI CONFIDENTIALITY
SECTION 30. Medical Confidentiality - All health professional, medical instructions, workers, employers, recruitment agencies, insurance companies, data encoders, and other custodians of any medical record, file, data, or test results as directed to strictly observe confidentiality in the handling of all medical information, particularly the identity and status of persons with HIV.

So if you guys are Interested on this Rapid Testing or if you have any questions or concerns... Please feel free to contact:

Ryan

Focal Person

(Peer Educators of the Manila Social Hygiene Clinic)
Mobile Numbers: 09178222824 or 09237018405
Landline Numbers: 2119013

Kindly indicate your name so he could schedule you for testing. You may even use a codename if you wish.

The test is absolutely FREE, We are just waiting for you! Remember it's your decision since this is a voluntary testing.

Thank you so much for your time in reading this advertisement!

We hope to see you soon.

Be Tested. Be safe!

[Source: re-post from http://rye82703.blogspot.com]

So many things to do, so little time

2009-11-09T16:23:00.003+08:00

http://rlv.zcache.com/so_much_to_code_so_little_time_tshirt-p235030224403724594t5tr_400.jpg

Hi everyone. I am so sorry for not being able to post for a while. I’ve started with my new job and I’ve been busy lately. I’ve so many things I want to write about but time is so little when you’re working.

Just an update… I’ve got a gym membership last month. I thought working out and toning would be good. After all my life events that came to pass, I need to redeem my self, to look and feel beautiful again.

I’ve been busy with advocacy too. I am part of a group of Poz who’s putting up an HIV support group and a Social Hygeine Clinic of sort exclusive to my town. It’s a lot of work but I am excited nonetheless.

I’ve been driving to and from work… so I am usually tired when I get home. Hence I am thinking of getting a place to rent in Manila. So if there’s anyone there who can suggest a reasonably priced place to rent in EDSA-Shaw area, please feel free to message me. If there’s a parking space, the better!

Lastly, I am still enrolled in DLSU-CSB completing my certificate in Filipino Sign Language.

This is what I have for now. Stay tuned.

Hugs to all of you, especially to you Sunshine :-D

Obama Lifts HIV Travel, Immigration Ban

2009-11-03T20:52:00.005+08:00

www.siamigos.com/newap/D9BLJPRG0.html

This is great news!

Now I am one restriction less to travel and visit the US.

********************

Obama Lifts HIV Travel, Immigration Ban

By Kerry Eleveld and Michelle Garcia

During a signing ceremony for the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment Extension Act, President Barack Obama announced Friday that the federal government would end its ban on travel and immigration to the U.S. by people who are HIV-positive, as first reported by The Advocate.

Obama made the announcement in the Diplomatic Room of the White House, where he told attendees that that policy was instituted 22 years ago "in a decision rooted in fear rather than fact."

First Book on HIV and AIDS in the Philippines Launched

2009-11-01T23:59:00.003+08:00

http://www.aidsphil.org/images/aids00000.jpg

AIDS in the Philippines, the first book that provides important information and a comprehensive account of Philippine experiences on HIV and AIDS, was launched last October 29, 2009 at Annabelle's, Tomas Morato during the Annual Membership Meeting of the AIDS Society of the Philippines at 1:00 in the afternoon.

For the first time in the 25-year history of HIV and AIDS in the Philippines, an extensive documentation on the changing trends and patterns of HIV infection and the country’s response is now in a book written by contributors who studied the beginnings of HIV infection until its increasingly rapid transmission among wider sectors of the population today. From 1984 to August 2009, the registry recorded a cumulative total of 4,082 cases. Unprotected sexual activities remain the most common mode of transmission.

Edited by Dr. Ofelia T. Monzon, who pioneered HIV investigative research studies that paved the way for early efforts to prevent further infection, AIDS in the Philippines contains 18 chapters authored by experts who have been at the core of scientific studies, clinical management, psychosocial responses, prevention, and policy making on HIV and AIDS. Read more…

Click here to see what the experts and other readers say… (Check out the bottom most part of the page :-) )

[source: http://www.aidsphil.org/]

Watch, learn and be safe

2009-10-30T11:33:00.005+08:00

http://www.vir.us/en/wallpaper/wallpaper_c_800x600.jpg

A good friend shared this site and I am doing my part, passing it forward, and sharing it to you.

This is one of the coolest animation I've seen educating people about HIV/ AIDS.

Watch, learn and be safe. And don't forget to take the quiz after you've seen the animation.

Let's keep making this world a better place to live in.

I literally heard my self gave out a loud “ugh!”… Then I was awakened

2009-10-28T11:35:00.006+08:00

[Image source: http://rosettasister.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/rainy-night-by-wael-saad.jpg]

I woke up around quarter to five in the morning giving out a loud “ugh!”

I had a dream. I don’t know if it will qualify as a nightmare, because I didn’t find it scary, but it’s no where near the story of the Little Mermaid, except for the presence of water.

**********

It was a raining. It was dark. I can’t figure out if it was night time or the rain cloud was too grey that it made the day looked bleak. But I didn’t feel scared

I was standing, drench in the rain. Behind me was a gate. I didn’t see it but I knew it was there. In front of me was a dirt path.

I looked left and right and all I can see it water. The surrounding seemed like rice field of some sort. I just couldn’t see its definition because of the volume of water. I wondered if the presence of water was because of the rain or if it’s naturally there.

I feel that there is nowhere for me to go but straight, and forward I went. I have not gone far and I noticed, to my left, a small old cottage.

I walked further and thought I saw a shadow amidst the darkness. I started to walk faster. Then I saw a man. I am not sure who he was but I felt we knew each other. He was standing and looking straight into the darkness.

I noticed that that side of the field was darker than the areas near the gate and the cottage. It was pitch black.

I asked him where we were but he didn’t respond to my query. He looked pale and cold. He must be standing in the rain for a while, I thought. I asked the same question and I received the same blank response.

Then he took my hand. He was holding me too tight that it began to hurt. I started struggling to free my hand (I can feel my sleeping body wriggling), but he was too strong.

He started to walk towards the darkness. I kept squirming to loosen my hand. Thanks to the rain water that wet his hand, I was able to break away from his grip.

He turns to look at me and his blank expression turn into an angry face.

My instinct screamed and ordered me to run, and that’s exactly what I did. I turned the opposite direction and ran as fast as I could.

I couldn’t feel the ground. I turned down to look… the dirt path was no longer there. I was running on water. After realizing this, I fell in the water.

I think I sank about three feet under water. I thought it was a good hiding place so I held my breath and stayed there as long as I could.

While I was submerged, I thought I was floating, but when I looked around, I saw that I was lying on a bed of water spinach (Kangkong in Filipino).

I don’t know how long I was sunken but I running out of air (I think I was holding my breath for real while I was dreaming).

Then I felt a hand grabbed me by the chest. It was him. I pushed him away and started running again. I ran past the cottage, past the open field, that’s filled with water and then reached the gate.

While I was standing there, it didn’t felt right to open the gate and go further beyond it. My curiosity got the best, I turned around and walk towards the cottage.

When I reached the cottage, I notice that it was lit from the inside. I peaked through the window and saw the man. He was violently throwing the furniture. He looked mad.

Then I heard something like a wail. I turned to look to my right and saw a wounded dog. It looked like a cross breed of a German Shepherd and a Rottweiler and it looked very week. I felt sad for the thing and decided to carry it back to the gate.

The dog was heavy. I had to make several stops from the cottage to the gate. I was on my third stop and I felt tired. So I decided to rest longer than I did on my last two stops.

I was very tired from all that transpired. I closed my eyes to rest. After a few minutes, I thought I need to continue. I opened my eyes and saw the man sitting in a squat position in front of me with a sheepish looking grin on his face.

He was holding a wide blade kitchen knife. Before I could even give out a reaction, he stabbed be in the belly… I literally heard my self gave out a loud “ugh!”

Then I was awakened.

**********

I find it strange that in the past two weeks… almost of my dreams have water and cottages in them.

Most of the time, I can control my dream, but not this one. However, I still knew that it was just a dream. But I allowed my self to be a passive part of the dream.

I want to understand because I believe acquiring the ability to interpret your dreams is a powerful tool.

Below are the dream interpretations I found online @ http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/. I arranged the symbols according to the manner of appearance in my dream.

Coincidentally, the meanings are somewhat accurate to what my life circumstances are going through.

************

Darkness
Darkness is synonymous with ignorance, the unconscious, evil, death, and fear of the unknown. If you feel safe in the dark, then it suggests that you like not knowing about certain things. As some might say, ignorance is bliss.

Night

To have a dream that takes place at night represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. There are some issues in your life that you are facing, but are not too clear. You should put the issues aside so you can clear your head and come back to it later. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth, reflection, and new beginnings.

Rain

To dream that you get wet from the rain, indicates cleansing from your troubles and problems. Rain also symbolizes fertility and renewal.

Gate

To see or pass through a gate in your dream, suggests that you are walking through a new phase of life. It also represents new opportunities and possibilities, especially if the gate is opened or swinging.

To see a closed gate in your dream signifies your inability to overcome current difficulties. If you are unable to open the gate, then it indicates that your hard work will be seen as unsatisfactory. It may also mean that you are not ready or not prepared to move on to the next step.

Dirt

To see freshly stirred dirt in your dream, symbolizes thriftiness and frugalness. Dirt is also representative of situations where you have been less than honourable and may have acted in a devious manner.

Path

To walk through a quiet, open path, signifies clarity of thought and peace of mind. It may also symbolize your progress.

To see a blocked or windy path, denotes that you need to give serious attention to the direction you are heading in your personal and/or business life. You also need to take time out to consider and rethink the consequences before acting on your choices.

Water

To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment.

To see muddy or dirty water in your dream, indicates that you are wallowing in your negative emotions. You may need to devote some time to clarify your mind and find internal peace. Alternatively, it suggests that your thinking/judgment is unclear and clouded. If you are immersed in muddy water, then it indicates that you are in over your head in a situation and are overwhelmed by your emotions.

To dream that you are walking on water, suggests that you have supreme and ultimate control over your emotions. It may also suggest that you need to "stay on top" of your emotions and not let them explode out of hand. Alternatively, it is symbolic of faith in your self.

Cottage

To see a cottage in your dream, represents comfort, peace and serenity. You prefer a quiet life of simplicity. The cottage may also represent an altered sense of reality and thus may be a means of escaping the responsibilities and problems that may be associated with your home. You need to approach life's difficulties one at a time.

Acquaintance

To see an acquaintance in your dream, signifies positive affairs in business and harmony in your home life. It also foretells that you will see or hear from them shortly after this dream.

To dream that you are in a dispute with an acquaintance denotes that you will soon find yourself in a humiliating situation.

Underwater

To dream that you are underwater, suggests that you are feeling overcome with emotions and are in need of greater control in your life. You may be in over your head regarding some situation.

To dream that you are breathing underwater represents a retreat back into the womb. You want to return to a state where you were dependent and free from responsibilities. Perhaps you are feeling helpless, unable to fulfil your own needs and caring for your self. Alternatively, you may be submerged in your emotions.

Plants

To see plants in your dream, indicate fertility, spiritual development, growth or the potential for growth. Alternatively, the appearance of plants in your dreams reflects your caring and loving nature.

Leaves

To see leaves in your dream, signifies new found happiness and improvements in various aspects of your life. It is symbolic of fertility, growth and openness. Alternatively, leaves represent a passage of time.

Dog

If the dog is dead or dying, then it indicates a loss of a good friend. Alternatively, it represents a deterioration of your instincts.

Knife

The knife may be symbolic of something divisive in your life. You may be attempting to cut ties or sever some relationship.

Stab

To dream that you have been stabbed, signifies your struggle with power. You may be experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. Alternatively, you may be feeling betrayed as the popular phrase goes, "being stabbed in the back".

Emo-ment

2009-10-25T23:43:00.004+08:00

[Image source: http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s9/babyblu_pecson/Emo.jpg]

I was feeling emotional tonight. I feel like things are a little hazy than I am supposed to see them. In spite of the good people around me and the activities that keep me preoccupied, I still feel poignant and lonesome.

Wanting to find enlightenment, I decided to send my Li’l bro (one of the people I receive so much comfort from… even though I can only come so close to him) a text message and share my “Emo-ment”.

I didn’t need to be comforted, I needed to be told the truth, the reality, that I am not able to see from where I am standing. And the truth was bestowed upon me.

I shall forever remember his insights:

“Each of us has a calling. Baka hindi pa pwede ngayun kasi (it could be it’s not yet time) you have greater things to do.”

“You can’t rush things, focus muna. Love what you do, love yourself for being able to do things. You’re starting to do things you’ve dreamed of doing. If you’re preoccupied with someone, you will be limited on the things you can do… just set it aside until you reach your goal, then you can share it all. For now, you need to focus.”

I know these words came from the heart. Unadorned and sincere.

Thanks Li’l bro.

Positivism – Vol. 1, Issue 3

2009-10-23T12:22:00.010+08:00

Acceptance is an agreeing either expressly or by conduct to the act or offer of another so that a contract is concluded and the parties become legally bound. - Mirriam-Webster

Positivism – Vol. 1, Issue 3

Cover: Acceptance

Shout out: Eric

http://positivism.ph/issue3/

**********

Past issues:

Positivism – Vol. 1, Issue 2

Cover: Wanggo Gallaga

Shout out: Humphrey

http://positivism.ph/issue2/

Positivism – Vol. 1, Issue 1

Cover: Shola Luna

http://positivism.ph/issue1/

I tested negative!

2009-10-23T11:43:00.013+08:00

http://www.pissinginthecup.com/wp-content/themes/thesis_151/rotator/passed_a_drug_test1.jpg

I just passed my application and signed the job offer. I got a new job!

I am so excited. Training starts Tuesday next week (October 27)… or Monday, if they decide to change and make us start earlier.

Part of the pre-employment process is a medical exam. Gosh, another of it’s kind. The last time I went to this sort, I found out I was HIV positive. I wonder what’s in store for me this time.

Part of the medical examination is a drug test.

At the clinic, I was asked to fill out a form. There’s a portion there that asked if I was taking any medication and if yes, I needed to note what that medication is.

After a while, my name was called, I was asked to fill two plastic containers. Then, I was asked to sign the labels that would go with the containers.

While in the process of signing, I saw the clinic personnel, who were seated beside me, put in a pregnancy test looking thing into one of the plastic bottles I filled. In less than 30 seconds, two pink lines appeared.

At that point my heart was pounding.

I jokingly asked her, if that two lines means I am pregnant? She laughed and said that means my test result is negative.

Whew! What a relief!

I have to be honest. I was scared going through this drug testing. I am a little concerned that my test result with come out positive. I read that some people on Efavirenze receive a false positive test for marijuana when drug-screening tests are used.

You see, I have been confirmed to be a Possie for almost two years now and I’ve been on ARV medication pretty much the same time. Right now I am taking a combination of Lamivudine, Zidovudine and Efavirenze.

I was so paranoid that I made sure to take in lots of water the evening before and on the day of the medical exam, since drug testing uses urine as a specimen. I As a result, I was peeing like a fountain, not running out of water to spurt.

Frankly, I didn’t want to declare that I am on medication. More so, state that I am on antiretroviral medication. But as a person who is not very good with lies (not even white lies), I ticked yes on the questionnaire and wrote that I am on ARV.

I did not want to state that I am on ARV because I feared that if the company finds out about my HIV status; they will not proceed hiring me.

What was I thinking? I already signed the job offer. Recruitment already congratulated me for passing. I did it. I am qualified for the job.

Then I had a realization.

However knowledgeable I am with R.A. 8504 (Aids Prevention and Control Act of 1988), regardless of the coming out experiences I’ve made and the number of people who’s been so loving and supportive of me, I realized that it still feel different when I am the one in “the” situation.

This is the first time I encountered this kind of situation. I felt that I have something to lose. Even though that is not the case.

According to R.A. 8504, Article VII, Section 35, It is unlawful to discriminate, not hire someone or terminate them on the bases of actual, percieved or suspected HIV status.

Anyone proven to be guilty of violating the above mentioned can be imprisoned from six months to four years with a fine not exceeding PHP 10,000.00. Additionally, their licenses/permits shall be revoked.

I am glad I came out negative on my drug test. I am also happy of the new experience I gained. It gave me more understanding and a better perspective on why some People Living with HIV like me has work related fears.

P.S.

Know you rights. Knowledge is one of your tools for survival.